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5 Bumps

My fiance may have fathered a child...Need opinions PLEASE!!

Ok, so I found out that my fiance may have fathered another womans baby. This baby has not been born yet, but once she is here there will be a paternity test. Its between him and another guy. He claimed to her that he never "came" but that that it could be from his pre cum. He doesnt know I know about this because I'm trying to calm myself down before approaching him. Im upset because this girl tried to contact him on facebook and via telephone but he has ignored her. What kind of man does that shit? He also lied to me by saying that he hadn't had sex for a year before me, which is not true. He was with this woman 2 months before me. He also told me that I, and one other woman (but not this pregnant woman) were the only ones he'd ever not used a condom with. So thats two lies. I had caught him in a few lies a few motnhs ago (straight to my face kind of lies) and it shattered my trust in him. I agreed to give him a chance to earn it back and told him that if there were any other lies he needed to come clean now and I'd forgive him and not get angry about them. He was adamant that there were no others. That was a lie. What do I do? How can I marry a man who repeatedly lies to me and who I cannot trust?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:45 PM on Mar. 31, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (26)
  • I wouldn't marry him after that.
    hopeandglory53

    Answer by hopeandglory53 at 9:47 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • I think you know exactly what to do. RUN. You'll never be able to trust him, sorry.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 9:48 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • i wouldn't marry him either.
    rAbella

    Answer by rAbella at 9:49 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • What do you want to do? If you stay, marriage should be out of the question right now. I think you guys need to sit down and talk and he need to be honest with you.. GL
    babygirl0782

    Answer by babygirl0782 at 9:50 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • Ok... so. You're already engaged after what? A few months? It sounds like you're getting to know him still and realizing he's not a trustworthy guy. Run.
    Ginger0104

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 9:50 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • Sounds like we need a Run-away bride. If he has lied that much in such a short time.. who knows what lies he hasnt even told you about. Looks like one HUGE red flag.. I would run like hell
    ahaley1178

    Answer by ahaley1178 at 9:51 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • You know the answer girlfriend. Even if it was before you that part doesn't bother me but why lie about tiny details? like how long it had been before he had sex? Stupid thing to lie about. and he didn't "Come" inside her - what is he 13? What kind of intelligent man would even make a completely idiotic statement like that. I certainly would NOT marry someone who lies about inconsequential things and now you are fixin to get yourself potentially tied up in a lifetime worth of hot mess. RUN FOR THE HILLS ..........I'm sure there is a wonderful, normal man with no baggage waiting out there. Once I Liar - ALWAYS a liar. You have been given a rare gift..........a glimpse into how he handles stressful complicated situations. Did he handle it with grace or has he handled it like the complete sleezebag he is? Run Forest Run!
    8Tinkerboo8

    Answer by 8Tinkerboo8 at 9:53 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • Run like a baby cheetah at feeding time!

    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 9:53 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • I say call of the engagement, for sure. If you still want to continue the relationship, then you need to have a serious talk and set some ground rules for honesty. If he really loves you then he'll be honest about his past, that includes shortcomings. If you have anything you should come clean about, that would be the time. But if you've already laid it out plain and simple (becuase we all know guys are morons and need to be talked to in black and white facts) and he is still lying to you, then I say it is over. There is another guy out there somewhere who will be completely honest and this guy isn't worth the effort. He's obviously not making the same effort back.
    ACL2007

    Answer by ACL2007 at 9:54 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • Sounds like there's too much bullshit and baggage with this guy. If it were me, I'd ditch him. There's so many other great guys out there who won't do you like that.
    Nanixh

    Answer by Nanixh at 9:55 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

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