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I feel like I failed my daughter :(

We took her tonight for her Kindergarten competency testing.

She has been going to Pre-K and the teacher always compliments how smart she is, she has always been above her peers in intelligence, she is VERY smart, etc. But when they tested her she got a 65 out of a 107.

I feel like I failed her and should have been working with her more.

She can sit here and read books with me, she picks up new words and stuff extremely quick (show her once and she has it down), etc.

But she only made a 65?

So.... I refuse to fail her. I will make sure she is ready for school, if not smarter than the other children.

I have made some work sheets for her and flash cards that I will print and laminate tomorrow. We will start working tomorrow on these things more since they said she could not completely identify every letter of the alphabet and didn't know all of her numbers from 11-20.

Did I fail her since she only made a 65 out of 107?


Asked by Anonymous at 10:45 PM on Mar. 31, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • How old is she?

    Psychologists would agree that a test of things like alphabet recognition and numbers is not indicative of a child's intelligence. Her intellect depends on her curiosity and grasp of social skills and other things that are way more subtle. If she is smart, focus more on fostering her love of learning and her curiosity about how and why things work. Putting a young child into a structured forced learning environment with flashcards and such will simply squash all the natural beautiful youthful enthusiam right out of her.

    Ignore the test result. Love and cherish your daughter.

    Answer by judimary at 10:57 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • Maybe she was just having one of those days. I'm a firm believer that you can't base someone's intelligence off of one test.

    Answer by Kword at 10:47 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • Augh, it makes me crazy that they test our children continually these days. Since when do little children have to read, etc in kindergarten. Why can't they just focus more on social skills and learning how to get along. Can't see where that would hurt our society any.

    Answer by OmaGirl at 11:00 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • Is this the first test she's ever taken? I really don't think you should worry about it, you haven't failed her. Does she want to go to kindergarten? She may be nervous about taking this next step. It could be so many things and the school should be willing to work with you.

    Please don't go nuts drilling her. You don't want to create more anxiety if she's experiencing that already. I think Adelicious gave you great advice. Just give her some time & lots of love & reassurance. She'll be just fine.


    Answer by sweetpotato418 at 11:08 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • I would NOT feel bad if I were you? Just because a small child does not pass a written test is NO indication of their smarts! It makes me sad to even think of a child that small being rated by that method. I would highly encourage you NOT to push her or even indicate that she did anything wrong at all. Take her for walks, let her smell flowers, read books to her. All those other things will come in time. It sounds to me like she's very smart and it's fine if she's not ready for written tests yet!

    Answer by Adelicious at 11:02 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • Do not feel as if you have failed your daughter. All kids develop at a different pace. And ecspecially don't let her hear you say you think you failed her. Because children that young are very sensitive and she may interpret that as she failed. It could hurt her self-esteem. You are doing all you can do, and beyond I did some of those same things for my daughter when she was that age.

    Answer by DoilzBaby at 11:08 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • No, that is average grade but try to be a funny, discipline teacher to your kids. Have a bonding time always by the way you teach.

    Answer by Sew-sun at 11:41 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • Just a question, were you there when she was tested? She could have been anxious feeling like she had to be perfect for you. She is too young to be drilled like a kid in basic training. Take advantage of learning experiences, but for goodness sake DO NOT DO ANYTHING that will make her more anxious about school and learning. That is a mistake she will have to deal with the rest of her life

    Answer by MChildressDem at 11:44 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • First of all, take a deep breath, Momma. Second, some people are just lousy test takers...doesn't mean they are any less smart than someone who just studied that material right before the test and got everything correct (then totally forgot everything after taking the test because the info didn't retain properly).

    Answer by hopeandglory53 at 12:37 AM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • She is 5

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:01 PM on Mar. 31, 2011