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ADD and Oposite Defiance Disorder (or something like that)

my neighbor has a son that is 7yrs old. she has him hopped up on all kinds of meds for ADD and the disorder i wrote about above. I have witnessed her and her husband's parenting and it is sickening! they don't enforce anything they tell him (like "don't do that" and the kid does it anyway. they just roll their eyes). He seems pretty neglected in my opinion. They have him watch tv or play on the computer to get him out of their hair. I want to tell her that maybe her and her husband have something to do with it. This kid talks about killing animals and bullies my children that are 4yrs and 2yrs.

I have tried to avoid them, but we share a driveway. we are moving as soon as our lease is up.

what would you do? How would you break it to her?

Answer Question

Asked by alleaeon at 12:11 AM on Apr. 1, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 7 (184 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • cps?

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:18 AM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • i think you should do what you feel is best

    Answer by nicolia at 12:37 AM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • It's Oppositional Defiant Disorder and while my daughter has not been diagnosed with it yet (we were just cleared for testing by the school's psychologist), I'm pretty sure she has that coupled with ADHD. I'm not one to medicate. I will do whatever it takes to avoid it and whatever I can as a parent to help her with these issues. ODD kids usually don't kill animals - seems like he has clearly transitioned into the Conduct Disorder stage and needs more help, not more medication. Medication is not always the answer. The parents need help and guidance. I would not call CPS. If you have ever had to live with a child who has ODD, you would feel immense sympathy for what the parents go through. Try to be more understanding and offer resources to better help the situation. The boy will not be a productive member of society if he continues on his current path.


    Answer by banana-bear at 12:55 AM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • A parent with a child with those disorders has SO many issues to deal with. Top it off with poor parenting, and you have a recipe for disaster. But, it's not really your place to say anything, especially since you don't fully understand the disorder. They probably make excuses for him thinking "Oh, he won't mind because he has this disorder." The reality is that he COULD do better if they had more guidelines for him. Still, it's such a difficult situation for them to begin with, and I would be willing to bet they have heard your criticisms before. You definitely don't want a hostile situation even if you are moving. I would protect my children from him, though, and NEVER leave them unsupervised around him. YOUR supervision, not his parents. Good luck, that's a very tough situation to be in.

    Answer by JawgaMom1 at 8:24 AM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • would protect my children from him, though, and NEVER leave them unsupervised around him. YOUR supervision, not his parents-----right! i NEVER let them out of my sight around him!! this is why i have asked cafe mom ladies, because i don't know anything about these disorders!!! thanks for your input ladies! after i posted this question, i was thinking this is really none of my business. unless i am asked for my opinion, i will keep my trap shut lolllllllll.

    Comment by alleaeon (original poster) at 9:30 AM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • My 10yo probably has ODD (but not ADD, her is coupled with severe anxiety) but that's no excuse to stop parenting. ODD kids are a handful. At 7, I could barely control my dd. She thought she knew everything and did whatever she wanted. Luckily she was tiny so I could deal with her (the size of a 4-5 yo). But her brother and sisters were terrified of her because she'd get violent. But I never stopped dealing with her just because she had issues. In fact, over the years I've spent 90% of my time dealing with just her and I had 3, now 4, other kids.
    If you're moving soon then just avoid the kid at all costs and let them be. It's their lives.

    Answer by justanotherjen at 11:10 AM on Apr. 1, 2011

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