Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

I have a serious military question

My sister is pregnant. She got pregnant with this loser, who keeps saying he wants nothing to do with her nor the baby, then he will try to contact her and say he wants her back. Then when she says she doesn't want him back - because he is absolutely crazy and abusive- He threatens that he can take "her baby" away. Because his parents are well to do and they have a high paid attorney. So basically he throws their money in her face when he threatens her, to make her feel like she has no chance against him.
My sister wants nothing to do with this guy, Because not only is he crazy and abusive, she found out that he was dealing with drugs.
She left him. And has been avoiding his calls a of now, because he keeps harrassing her.
Now to the military part. This guy is a marine. We are not sure if he is still in the military - but he is still able to sign up for anopther tour, so maybe he is- He contacts a girl friend of my sisters on FB. He was asking her a bunch of questions about my sis. Then starts trying to dater her. She turns him down. This friend contacts my sister to tell her about this, and that she found some disturbing pics and heard some disturbing news about this guy.
Since my sis left him, this guy has been associating himself with gangs, and he has been talking about how much money he makes selling drugs. There are tons of pic on his FB with him throwing gang signs with what appears to be gang members. There is a pic with him and a few other guys throwing gang signs and they have a few guns on the bed, with wadds of cash hanging out their mouths. There is also a bunch of money scattered out all over the bed with the guns.
So my sister is wanting to know is there something she can do to protect herself and her child? Like can she report these photos to someone in the military?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:45 AM on Apr. 1, 2011 in Kids' Health

Answers (12)
  • First you have to find out if he is active in the military or even if he is just a reservist. If you do find out he is call the police on the base he is stationed at and let them know they may be able to get ahold of his first seargent. If he isn in the militaryt save the facebook pics anyway and if he threatens her through texts or email have her save those and take them to your local police department and get a restraining order. She dosent have to let him see the child when it is born he will have to get an attorney for visitation and she already has proof he isnt stable make sure she keeps all evidence!

    Answer by okmommy08 at 12:51 AM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • Thanks. She has been having a real hard time with this. At first she was really hoping he would grow up and step up as a father, but now she is scared. We screenshots of these pics already. Just in case. We will def be trying ot find out if he is still in the military.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:57 AM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • Does your sister have a way to move away? Change her number and just kinda fade away. I would also do what okmommy08 says.

    Answer by sweetangie79 at 1:00 AM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • Not right now. She really is tight with money, and all our family is here. He knows this, and unfortunately he know where she is -not her address, but the town she lives in-. We were talking about this the other day though. That if he can't find her, or have a way to contact her there should be nothing she can do about it. But there's just no money right now. =(

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:06 AM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • That if he can't find her, or have a way to contact her there should be nothing she can do about it

    I meant to say nothing he can do about it


    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:08 AM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • First response .......great advice.
    I am so sorry she has to deal with this guy!!!!
    I would just like to add that he is a bad representation of the Marines and all of the amazing men and women in every branch of the service!!!!
    I hope that he gets a wake up call.
    There is nothing glamorous about drugs or "stacks of cash"(maybe he should spend that enormous amount of money on a nice crib and DIAPERS)
    He is really missing out on being there for the mother of his child, and eventually his son or daughter. I wish nothing but the best for your family.

    Answer by kazmia at 1:20 AM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • Lol Omg! That's my story. Glad I'm not the only one. I'm 16 weeks pregnant. I have one assault charge against him w pictures of my bruised face & he punched out my windshield which got photo'd as well. Which granted me a protective order. Police advised me not to put him on the birth certificate. I relocated. I have harassment cases on him as well. The gang stuff is honestly obsolete. The police don't care unless the gang is harming you & leave a gang signature at the scene. The drug dealing just means you won't get child support cause it's undocumented income. Do Not put him on birth certificate! Since he has $, courts can care less where it comes from if he fights for his rights. I'm currently go through this now & I have many experiences & sources if you have more questions.

    Answer by shynu at 1:22 AM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • Thank you kazmia... My sister is having a really hard time with this, because she usually is the type to think that a child needs both parents in his/her life, but at the moment she feels that he might prove to be more of a danger and more of a heart ache to this child. And he already screamed at her over the phone that he is not going ot giver her a GD dime for that baby because she is insane, and beneath him. This was when they first broke up and she told him she knew about the drugs and that he had been cheating on her. He started to yell at her and call her a crazy B* and a few other not so nice choice of words. This guy really is a total loser.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:26 AM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • @ shynu.... My sister has been going bak and forth with the decision as to place him on the BC or to just disappear. Last night she was ready to text him either she lost the baby- she is 27 weeks- or that it's not his. Which it is,but she figured she could make up a story that she was with someone else when she got pregnant. That is what it has come down to. It's sad but she just doesn't know what else to do at this point.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:33 AM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • She really needs to quit making contact w him. He doesn't need to know any lie. Especially if he pays for a dna test?! For the safety of the baby, block his number. It's not a game & even telling him she lost the baby or whatever. He just likes she keeps calling & keeps contact. He really could care less what she says. He'll act crazy like he cares. But it's all a game cause honestly he's got women, drugs, danger, money & a gang family?! He's gotta a whole lotta other stuff going on besides her. Keeping contact is a game endangering her & the baby.

    Answer by shynu at 1:49 AM on Apr. 1, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.