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how can i stop this?

my daughter who is 4 yrs old is encouraged by her dad that it is oky to rough house and play rough. she has even got into trouble at school for this. i confront him then he does the feel sorry crap and says "i just wont play w/ my kids then" HELLO!!! SHES A GIRL!!! PLAY DOLLS or something. well now its starting to effect her and she doesnt understand why ppl dont want to play with her and be her friend. she even cries about this. her dad just doesnt understand. how can i get her to stop when her dad encourages it?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:58 PM on Nov. 28, 2008 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (8)
  • I think it's OK to play with her at home but it's up to both of you as parents to what play really is and not to take it outside the home because others may not like it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:00 PM on Nov. 28, 2008

  • You need to teach her the differnece between playing with daddy and other people. Not only let him play dolls with her. What if she was a boy? Would you say go play dolls then? Or you would let daddy play rough?

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:01 PM on Nov. 28, 2008

  • teach her when and where it is OK to play rough. but ROUGH HOUSING IS NECESSARY for children. and there is no link between rough housing and violence. a great tip i give my preschoolers is to tell them to ASK the other child first. we have boppers at school (2' long floaty noodles) and the kids LOVE to bop each other with them, but they have to ask first.

    Answer by trepsica at 9:38 PM on Nov. 28, 2008

  • If your husband has trouble playing dolls with your daughter, would he be better with a GI Joe doll, I mean action figure. Your daughter could play with Barbie. He could even take his daughter out on a date which could teach her how she should act. A little rough housing isn't going to hurt her. Good luck

    Answer by dustbunny at 11:31 PM on Nov. 28, 2008

  • Think of the bonding they are doing! Why would you discourage that? She just needs to be taught the when/where aspect. Don't make her play with certain things just because she is a girl. Girls can do everythng boys can do!

    Answer by Crazy-Steph at 7:21 PM on Nov. 29, 2008

  • There is nothing wrong with the way men play with kids, they DO roughhouse- it is how they connect, but yeah your daughter needs to know it is not ok with everyone. Does she wrestle with you? My kids (ds,4 and dd,2) wrestle with daddy a LOT but my dd's fav way to play is for the boys to rescue her (as a princess) as they battle.

    Answer by TXdanielly at 1:21 AM on Nov. 30, 2008

  • Well there is the problem little kids cannot distinguish between playing around with dad at home and bashing the crap outa some kid in school. This was a battle in our house as well. I just told him to ease up a bit because they are going to wind up social outcasts with no friends because they have no self control.

    Answer by salexander at 10:32 AM on Nov. 30, 2008

  • see thats the promblem i am having. she does it to everyone and doesnt understand why she cant play like this. she got into trouble everyday last week becuz of this.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:55 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

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