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How do I put my son in daycare when he is so attached to me and cries when I tell him he will be starting school (daycare) soon.

First of all I would like to mention that my son has behavioral issues that is really hard to deal with because he hits other kids, bites himself when he gets mad, spits at people when mad so I'm really trying to cope with this type of behavior. I am putting him in daycare because I want him to get used to being around other kids and to socialize because he will be starting preschool in September of 2011. Being that he is so attached to me and vice versa I know its going to hurt me when I have to leave him in daycare and hes going to start crying. How do I deal with this and should I leave him the whole day or how many hours should I leave him for ?

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Asked by sayala79 at 1:08 AM on Apr. 1, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • If he's not ready, he'll not 'get used to' the stress of being there by doing it early. His development may be happening at a different pace from some other kids and what's suitable to them is not suitable to him.

    It may be very different by September with no 'getting used to' in the meantime.

    There is a very strange idea, in our culture, that if a child isn't yet able to do something, the best course of action isn't waiting until they're ready to do it, but to force it on them before they can. Read 'The Hurried Child' for a long description of this.

    Answer by LindaClement at 1:12 AM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • He won't be attending daycare for long if that is the way he acts. They will not put up with that. You really need to get him under control at home before you put him in a daycare for them to deal with.

    Answer by matthewscandi at 11:11 AM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • Kids are amazingly resilient. The first few days will be tough, but once you are out of sight it might go better than you think. My son is 3 and woud velcro himself to me if I let him, but I put him in social programs including school to encourage his interactions with others. I won't lie, sometimes mornings are not easy and he gives me the run around about leaving and then when I go to pick him up he is too busy with the other kids to get into it. I think I have posted the books Lllama Llama misses Mama and The kissing hand as great books to read together before you start out as they have helped us alot. If you need some one on one cheer the first few days to get through it on your end feel free to message me . I think if you have the option several half days are better than a full day, Come up with a game plan with the daycare that makes you feel good. They have experience and early childhood ed degrees at many places.

    Answer by hotelmom123 at 1:04 PM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • The first few days and even weeks will be hard. He will get over it. It may take him longer since he's been with you this whole time but remember that the teachers are used to kids who have never been away from mom and dad before. Ask them for advice.

    Are the behavior issues medical/psychological? If so, make sure they are aware of them. If not, you will need to work on this with him at home before.

    Answer by jms124 at 1:30 PM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • If the daycare he goes to is a GOOD one then you'll have nothing to worry about. Sure he'll cry the first day, however one of the childcare workers will try to "attach" themselves to your child to make the transition for you and him easier. is he easily distracted? If so, when you go to sign him up for daycare tell them his issues and that an extremely good distraction will prevent him from throwing a tantrum. When you take him there the first time, act like you have to go to the bathroom, tell him you'll be back and then leave. Hopefully it all goes smoothly. Good luck. I know how hard this will be for you and him.

    Answer by RainbowMom132 at 4:29 PM on Apr. 1, 2011

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