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my 4 year old is an absolute angel in preschool, we've never had any issues. when he gets home its a completly different story. he scream, demands stuff, doesnt listen at all, i am at my witts end with him. i have tried everything i can think of. any suggestions?


Asked by jbirchard at 9:05 PM on Nov. 28, 2008 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (9)
  • It sounds like you're very consistent and yeah I'd say it is a phase. Think of it this way- he is comfortable enough with you and at home, to let himself "go". If we can't mess up and make mistakes at home, where then can we?

    Answer by TXdanielly at 1:19 AM on Nov. 30, 2008

  • dSoumds like he knows how to manipulate YOU and his Teacher doesn't let him get away with things like you do. Learn to say NO! Put him in Time Out! Don't give in to demands! Be Consistent!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:14 PM on Nov. 28, 2008

  • schedule a conference with his teachers and find out what they are doing that is working (i am a preschool teacher) and use it at home. maybe they don't use timeout at school, but losing privilges works great for him, or diverting his attention, or ignoring. they should know.

    Answer by trepsica at 9:37 PM on Nov. 28, 2008

  • like i said ive tried everything. timeouts, i take his stuff away, he impossible to ignore, i talk to his teachers everyday to make sure were on the same page.I AM VERY CONSISTANT, i am convinced its a difficult stage. i mean obviously hes trying to manipulate me, and i dont let him. sometimes he does get the best of me though. any positive help out there

    Answer by jbirchard at 9:54 PM on Nov. 28, 2008

  • My son is 4 and he does the same thing, once in a while, only difference he is NOT in school just yet. I think it's a combination of bordom, tiredness, hungry....he is probably so used to having all kinds of things to do at school in a set pattern schedual, when he gets home he doesn't know what to expect so he starts pushing buttons and because you are probably tired too, it works, SOMETIMES! If there is a way, start putting together a schedual, and loosly plan out your day with him, involve him in it so he feels like he has a choice in what you do, or the meals you eat. Give him a voice in your family so that he doesn't feel like he HAS to be heard...

    Answer by MamaRoberts at 2:57 PM on Nov. 29, 2008

  • Have a conference with the teacher and learn his routine/scedule there and make one for your house that models that routine/schedule. Also find out the classes dicsipline plan and put that into effect at your house as a Pre-K teacher I have parents ask me this all the time and I have found that if you keep a child busy and give them enough positive attention you will not have any problems.

    Answer by EmmieandMom at 3:03 PM on Nov. 29, 2008

  • This might sound a bit harsh and I would appreciate NO BASHING, but my dd was the EXACT sameway. And believe me, I did the timeout thing, the bed thing, I even tried spanking her bottom. NOTHING worked. So one day, we had a talk. I explained that if she felt the need to act this way, I was videotaping it, and showing her teacher. She was hysterical. I only had to do it once, and now, at the mention of a naughty video (as we call it) she completely straightens up. I think your son probably wants to please his teacher, and he is more comfortable pushing limits around you. Just find a way that changes the disrespectful tone, and it'll get better. =)

    Answer by SugarAndSpiceX3 at 3:41 PM on Nov. 29, 2008

  • make a "naughty spot" in the house somewhere & do time outs this is the time to put him in the spot & LEAVE HIM there for 1 min to every yr old he is (4 min) don't run in & check on him every 2 seconds lol he'll be fine :) ~ SAY WHAT YOU MEAN & MEAN WHAT YOU SAY dear he'll get the message.If he gets up put him back!


    Answer by tntornado45 at 4:26 PM on Nov. 29, 2008

  • I had a similar issue with my daughter. My daughter is 3 1/2 and entered the whining, rude, demanding, temper tantrum stage. I tell her I don't understand her unless she's speaking in her "big girl voice" and I can't understand whining or yelling. If she persists, I tell her she can go in her room and come back out when she's ready to speak like a big girl and/or act like a big girl (if she's having a tantrum). At first I had to physically put her in her room and shut the door. Once it was up to her how to behave, the tantrums got shorter and she was more polite.

    Answer by mommee_b at 2:24 AM on Dec. 1, 2008