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Sending my son away for the first time....

My son is a year old and my mom asked me the other day if I would be comfortable letting him stay with her alone for maybe 4 days while she's not working. She lives 6 hours away from us and my husband is deployed. I absolutely trust my mom with my son and my husband trusts her also. She loves him more than anything and I know she would take proper care of him. I'm really close with her so trust is def. not an issue. My son sees her about once a month for a couple days at a time so he's used to her and I don't think he would have separation anxiety from me if he's with her. It would be great to have a few days to myself to do what I want and I think I could handle being away from him for 4 days (although that's my limit). But I feel guilty about it. I'm not trying to pawn him off on my mom because she asked to keep him but I still feel bad. I guess my question is is it normal for me to feel this way because it's the first time I'm sending him off without me? I know a year is very young, but it's my mom and like I said I trust her over anyone else to keep him alone.

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Asked by Court128 at 3:43 AM on Apr. 1, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 12 (748 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • i felt the same way when my mom took my son for the first time over night - granted we lived 5 minutes away but still!! i wanted to call my mom every hour to see if he was okay! altho i knew he would be i just had the feeling i needed to know!


    Answer by 3HappylKidds at 3:48 AM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • Yes very normal for you to feel this way. I say enjoy your quiet days when he is gone, then enjoy him when he gets home.

    Answer by sweetangie79 at 3:50 AM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • I understand how nervous you are about it, and I also think it's perfectly ok - both being nervous and also letting him go so you can have a bit of a break during the deployment.

    Also, I don't know if you've considered this, but my dh and I do it when he's been deployed and comes home - after he's been home for a bit (it's not like we rush out the day he gets back or anything), we leave the kids with someone (when they were younger it was with my inlaws who would come out for homecoming, now that they're teens, they will sometimes stay with a friend and we go after family goes home) - but we take a couple of days for my dh and I to go away for a romantic getaway - maybe letting your ds go to your mom's house could be a good "test drive" for you and your dh doing something like this, too :-)

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 6:51 AM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • Could you go together and you take every day to do something for yourself? That way you are there but she takes care of him every day for most of the day. It's a good compromise, maybe, because he is so young. Or cut it back to three days. Just ideas..........

    Answer by elizabr at 7:00 AM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • Its really normal to feel this way. My mil lives 2-3 blocks from me and I had a hard time letting my dd spend the night with her when she was a year old. Now though? Shes 6 and been doing it just about every weekend since she was 15 months old and I love those overnight visits. Its good for my dd, me and my mil loves it. My mom also has taken my older kids, and same thing. It was hard at first, and then I looked forward to it. They started going there for 4 weeks every summer after awhile.

    Answer by gemgem at 7:23 AM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • Personally, I think a year is too young. When he is going to bed at night, having you there to comfort him and assure him that he is safe is a big deal. Nobody can replace Mommy (not that your Mom is trying to do that, just looking at it from your DS's perspective). I think you should go with him and then you and DH have an outing and/or a date every night so he gets plenty of quality time, just him and Grandma

    Answer by JawgaMom1 at 8:13 AM on Apr. 1, 2011

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