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2 Bumps

Cheating husband?

I think my husband is cheating. He denies it and gets very defensive and angry when I mention it. Almost every day he works he has to work over at least half an hour and several days of the week he'll go back into work after he's already off. Like he gets off at 3:30pm and tells me he has to go back in around 7pm and works til 11pm or so. He has no problem texting at work but some days I'll text him several times and he won't text me at all. I don't think he is at all attracted to me and he doesn't wanna be around me. He told me he's looking for a second job and says he needs the money, which IMO, he doesn't. I think he just doesn't wanna be around me. When we are at home, he is either playing a video game or sleeping. And most of the times we have sex (not everytime) he wants to watch porn, which I am fine with but I feel like I'm not enough for him. We have been together for 6 years and married for a little over a year. We have a beautiful son together and a baby on the way. Does his behavior seem suspicious to anyone else or is it just me? Is it all in my head? Am I overreacting?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:03 AM on Apr. 1, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • Id need more information. Do you know your financial situation? Pay the bills for instance? Does he show overtime on his paychecks? These are all things you would need to know first. I pay all the bills and my husband works, so I know how many hours he is really working and what our financial situation is. If you dont know then Id sit down with him and ask to go over the financial things, see what hes bringing in, his overtime, and why he feels he needs another job.
    Stress can cause men to act strangley and if you are financially in a strap and have another baby on the way it can be that too.

    Other than that, idk. My ex cheated on me but I was able to get the evidence & his excuses after awhile were laughable.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 8:07 AM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • I don't think it is cheating yet.. the thought might be there but right now it sounds like he wants a bit of away time from you.
    zoejains_momma

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 8:26 AM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • It seems suspicious to me but you never know..If I were you I would call his work whenever he saids that he has to go back in to work and you may find out that he lied to you. Another way is to act like your going out for the have your parents watch your son and see if he invites anyone over that isnt a guy or if he goes and meets someone at some place. But if you assume he is cheating and he is denying it then he probably is cheating. Thats the same way my sisters ex did he bought a phone that she didnt know about and they would take and make plans which my sister did even know. They take an oppurnity to cheat whenever their spouse is no where near them so I would call his work whenever he goes back to work after getting off and you might get your answer.
    shelle21

    Answer by shelle21 at 8:28 AM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • I can see how if you have a new baby on the way your husband would think he needs a second income. I agree with gemgem, though, if you don't pay the bills you really can't know the financial situation all that well. As for him coming home and then leaving again - what does he do? My husband works in IT at a 24-hour factory. Whenever someone breaks something or can't figure out a program, guess who they call? He goes in all the time to fix things. For the texting thing, maybe he's busy working or maybe there is an area of the building where he doesn't get reception. In any case, talk to him. Good luck. (c:

    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 8:29 AM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • My hubby's workers do maintenance and are always on call. In fact they go in the middle of the night and they report to my hubby. SO I think you are jumping the gun.Talk to him in a calm, nondefensive manner. GL! GO to one of his company parties. I wish you the best...
    mamacita69930

    Answer by mamacita69930 at 8:40 AM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • He just does maintenance at a nursing home
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:34 AM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • Tell him in a calm manner what and how you are feeling. His response might give you more definite information.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 8:50 AM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • I've tried that. I try to always stay calm when confronting him about it but he always gets bent out of shape. He's told me that I must want him to cheat is why I accuse him (that doesn't even make sense). I don't even try to accuse him I just ask him and tell him my suspicions. I never say "you're cheating" because idk if it's true.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:57 AM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • i think that you should do alittle more investigating. like someone said above. check the finances. and if you cant get to that i would call his job one night hes suppose to go back in and go from there. good luck
    adriana1024

    Answer by adriana1024 at 9:25 AM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • My dh gets called into work a lot, even after he clocks out for the day. Just try to stay calm. It could be he's just stressed about the new baby and is trying to pick up extra hours.
    KateShesGreat3

    Answer by KateShesGreat3 at 9:34 AM on Apr. 1, 2011