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3 Bumps

My dh is laid off and so are 3 of his friends and he spends all his free time with them

He builds houses and is just waiting for the snow to melt so he can get back to work but in the meantime he comes and goes all day and into the evening leaving me here to do the usual cleaning/cooking/dishes/dealing with kids and a dog.
There is no family time other then when he is home he breathes the same air and watches TV. He says he is bored and that is why he spends all his time with them but yet not us. How do I get him to see that he that this is not fair to me or the kids, now the weekend is coming up and he will want to spend it away from home ice fishing,
Am I right for feeling this marriage won't last if this keeps up?


Asked by Anonymous at 8:26 AM on Apr. 1, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • You guys need an unbiased third party with which to discuss this with. Maybe they will help your dh realize what he's doing wrong. If not, I would strongly reconsider being married to this guy. He clearly has no interest in being a dad or a husband.

    Answer by KateShesGreat3 at 9:28 AM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • The marriage won't last if you don't find some social outlets for yourself-no one can be it all for someone else. I agree that he should be spending time with his family and you should more than strongly voice your opinion and needs about that.

    Answer by meooma at 8:32 AM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • Stop being there when he comes home. Go out with your babies and ejnoy yourselves. Let him see you having fun without him. Let him see you living life outside of the house without him.

    Answer by pookiekins34 at 8:38 AM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • Try joining a mommy and me group. I am about to join one. I have very little friends in this area and with 2 kids it gets lonely doing all the work yourself. Good luck!

    Answer by Mom1127-0125 at 9:18 AM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • oh yeah, you are right.. suggest things you can do as a family and see if that can spark his interest.

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 8:28 AM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • I've been in your same situation. You should try to talk to him about what's going on in your head. I finally had come to a point where I had to talk to his best friend, who I'm friends with too, and explain what's going on. I asked him to have a talk with him. I don't normally air my dirty laundry, but it had come to a point where if I didn't, I was about to tell him to leave.

    Answer by amberdawnbarr at 8:33 AM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • Also he basically is my only friend...other then him there are no adults in my life so it's not like I can just go hang out with the girls and do lunch

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:28 AM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • we only have one car and he always has it otherwise I would love to run around without him. He is very defensive when it comes to me talking about anything and it is so bad it is not even worth it to talk to him it is like I don't have the right to say anything no matter how nicely I say it

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:25 AM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • I agree with the previous posters get out and play with your kids go to the library for story time go to places you can volunteer or start your own playgroup invite women from your area or join a book club with other mommies anything so you can involve your kids.

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 9:31 AM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • is there any type of public transportation close, like a bus or something that you could use? it takes getting used to but once you know how to get somewhere by bus, you can go anywhere in the city or even area as there are some buses that go to different cities and counties.

    Answer by dreamangel06 at 11:39 AM on Apr. 1, 2011