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5 Bumps

Husband bashing.

Why do so many women on this forum publicly bash their husbands? I understand the need to vent, but I don't understand why so many woman get on this board and constantly degrade and badmouth the man they married.. It's always the same, "HE did this" or "HE did that" or "HE is such a jerk".. I very rarely see anyone say "I have a part in this too".. Has it ever occurred to you ladies that maybe your husband wouldn't be such a jerk if you showed them a little respect? Honestly how would you feel if you found out your husband was on a public forum posting about what a bad mother you are, or what a lazy housewife you are, or even what a b*tch you are?
I simply do not understand how a woman can marry a man, promise to love him forever, then publicly compain about what a horrible person he is without ever once taking some of the blame for themselves..
One more thing.. Why do so many women here encourage it? So many women are so eager to jump on here and say "yes your husband is a jerk" or "you should leave the guy".. Hardly anyone asks "what are YOU doing to improve the situation" or "What part do YOU have in this?"..
Why is that? Are you ladies so angry and so unhappy that you simply cannot help fueling their anger?
Whatever happened to support and positive encouragement? Even more important? what ever happened to loving your husband no matter what.. For better OR for worse?

 
Obi.Ren.Kenobi

Asked by Obi.Ren.Kenobi at 9:27 AM on Apr. 1, 2011 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,301 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • i love my husband dearly... would i post anything about him that would exploied him as a bad man or father no... cause it's not true... we get in fights sometimes but it's no ones buisness either... he can be a jerk at times and then so can i... but i would say for some of these woman they may not have anyone to talk to other then coming on cafemom and venting to us for an open ear or advice on what to do... there will always be two sides to a story but it never hurt to lend out a helping hand just to say "well i hope everything gets better keep your chin up."
    Lynnsae

    Answer by Lynnsae at 11:22 AM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • Well I dont think I have ever done that but can understand the need to vent. Some times it is better to vent on a forum then keep it all in.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 9:30 AM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • Was reading one earlier with supportive responses to a woman admitted she cheated. She got no support from me. She got an honest answer.
    pookiekins34

    Answer by pookiekins34 at 9:30 AM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • If she is truly being abused (whether physically or emotionally), that's pretty much the only time I say "get out", especially if they aren't married already. (Cheating is emotional abuse IMO.)

    Sometimes its hard to assess the situation when you only get one side of the story. You are correct, though, sometimes it IS our fault.

    I actually just told my husband about this particular post, and he just said, "I see it as a venue for women to be able to express how they feel and vent." So yes, sometimes we just do need to say "he sucks" cuz that way we don't blow up at HIM, and make the situation worse. We blow up on a public forum (that's just for women), have that anger released, then we can go to him and have a rational discussion w/o the anger.
    hopeandglory53

    Answer by hopeandglory53 at 9:36 AM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • I think its healthy to vent and this is an anonymous way to do it. Our advice, suggestions come from our experiences. Some of us are jaded, scarred, untrusting and our answers show that. Some of us have been through some of those described relationships and have made the decisions to leave...and that is our advice to some of the posts. I would never again be in a relationship where there was any form of abuse, cheating, or disrespect; and I do not ever encourage anyone to stay in theirs. My response, my opinion, my answers.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 9:37 AM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • it's just venting.. chances are they KNOW they were wrong to. Once they get it out of their system I am sure they feel better..
    zoejains_momma

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 9:34 AM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • Most times when one bashes about anything... its going to be one sided (their view) to get some sympathy from others.

    I try very hard not to do it.... but my hubby is far from perfect..... BUT he IS perfect for ME! I wouldnt trade him for the world.... flaws and ALL!
    MrsDAP

    Answer by MrsDAP at 9:36 AM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • I think that there are many women being abused and maybe by posting they will get advice. I was an abused woman and was both ashamed of it and also had no one to tell me I was worth more then the idiot husband I was with at that time. I have no problem with someone posting things. Maybe some of the men are really pathetic dipshits and she needs help. Way to judge and maybe keep someone from posting who is being abused (emotionally, mentally or physically).
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:42 AM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • I have no shame in the problems my husband and I have had in the past.  However no one will ever "hear" me call him any names or bad mouth him period.  And when I talk about how bad our relationship was it's always "us", never just "him".  I would definitely not appreciate it if he were to get on a social website and talk about how fucking horrible I am.  I understand the need to vent but I prefer to do my venting to him.  I'll speak more freely in a private message then I EVER would in questions.  Everyone vents differently though, maybe venting about him here makes their relationship a little better.  Gives the wife chill time, time to get calmed down.

    MrsHouston47302

    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 9:38 AM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • If you wanna bash your hubby in forums DO IT!! At least your not saying these horrible things about him to co workers or family members. Just don't be embarassed if/when he finds out the bad things you have said about him.
    KoolMom617

    Answer by KoolMom617 at 11:31 AM on Apr. 1, 2011

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