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What do I do about feelings I am having for another man?

Please don't tell me that it is wrong because I do realize that, but at the same time I have talked and talked to DH about what my needs are and he just ignores me like I don't exist. This man takes the time to talk to me, share his life with me through conversation and just plain notices that I'm alive. I feel bad for even feeling anything for this man, but he just gets me. While I do "love" my DH for the simple fact that he is my children's father, I do not "love" him in that way anymore. we have done the marriage counseling 2x already and honestly, short of divorcing him I don't know what to do..I would rather not go that route just yet because my children are still young.

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:42 PM on Jul. 9, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • i know that this is not directly answering the question, however, i have had a similar experience and have some advice....if you leave your husband, make sure you are leaving him because your relationship is over, not for the other man....there is a VERY big difference in the two. you need to be sure that you would be done with the relationship even without the other man in the picture because that man may well turn out to be completely different than expected.....if you are truly done with the relationship, then be done with it.....but do not confuse that with chosing the other man over your husband...i hope that makes sense...just pm me if it doesnt or you have any questions

    Answer by LoriaAnn at 9:55 PM on Jul. 9, 2008

  • I feel the same way you do. My DH doesn't pay attention to my feelings or needs. All that he's concerned about is he get satisified and his needs met. I have seven kids and most to of the time if feels like I have eight. I have this guy friend that I like talking to and he really gets me too. But I know I have feelings for him, but I don't let get to far. I always consider my kids first before my feelings.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:08 PM on Jul. 9, 2008

  • she hit it right on the nose.i'd say keep trying with your DH you did not make vows to just give up easly!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:09 PM on Jul. 9, 2008

  • you must be reading a page out of the diary of my life!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:37 PM on Jul. 9, 2008

  • There is in Irish mythology a goddess of sexuality, Aeval who held midnight court for all women who wanted to accuse their husbands of not doing his husbandly duties. I love that story! I think husbands should be held accountable for filling in the voids their wife has. If not, there can be consequences. If you need more moral support get up with me. I have a group about this. Hugs

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:57 PM on Jul. 9, 2008

  • What do I do about feelings I am having for another man? Make the decision not to have them. You are the only one who can control your feelings.

    Answer by pwfaith at 11:01 PM on Jul. 9, 2008

  • okay.. from the voice of experience in this department. Please do not act on those feelings.. they are just that feelings. Don't make my mistake.. don't break up a family because you are feeling lonely.. Yes, you will regret it down the road. I did this... married 16 years... lonely, bored, feeling old and unattractive... met very understanding, concerned man who gave me constant attention... found out we both felt the same way.. seperated and divorced my husband.. got this man for ONE month... then POOF it was over.. no husband, no attention giving man, no father for my children in their home, no watching my grandchildren being born with their grandfather.. NOTHING! Please listen to my advise... Walk away, take a vacation.. but think about this a long time.

    Answer by pupmom at 1:37 AM on Jul. 10, 2008

  • The grass isn't always greener on the other side!!

    Answer by tlsteinbeck at 1:48 AM on Jul. 10, 2008

  • Here we go again or you are the same person in another post with the same problem. Grow up is all I could say.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:27 AM on Jul. 10, 2008

  • this is to anonymous right above my post. If all you can do is judge and not have any real advice or suggestion, why do you even respond? I thought this was a place where people were free to talk about what was going on,,not to be judged and talked down to. I think you are rude.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:21 PM on Jul. 10, 2008

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