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Have you ever been a cutter or are you now???

when me n my hubby got together it ws long distance we would break up off and on. so i started to cut..i stopped once we were finally together in the same house ect..we have now been together for almost 9 years n have 3 beautiful kids. he ended up doing that online shit gettin naked pics of girls talking to them the way he talks to me when we play around with each other..even went as far as telling one girl that he loved her just to try and get her to do that stuff with him. for a whole year he did that he would fight with me when i would want to see his phone he did all this on his phone. till one night a month after our 3rd baby was born he left his phone by the bed when he went to check on the kids n i found all of it..his excuse is that he was adicted and didnt know how to stop..anywho that stuff really affected me. we are still together n r trying hard to build the trust back but lately i justcant seem to shake it n when we argue i want to cut. but dont because i know my kids dont need me like that! how can i shake the feeling of wanting to cut. i really want to move on n be a happy family again. hes doing everything to make things better..lets me see his phone never keeps it on silent so on.

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:34 PM on Apr. 1, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • You could always try the rubberband on the wrist thing and snap it whenever you get the urge. I guess it's supposed to give you that sting without the consequences. I used to cut, but then I started smoking. One I can get in trouble for (cutting) and the other is legal (I only smoke cigs). But to each her own.

    Answer by bdflykisses at 2:50 PM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • No, I have never cut, but after some trauma, my DD did for many years. I am not sure of the answer for you, but I can hopefully share somethings I have learned to help you fight yourself. 1st is acceptance, do not past trip to the hurtful things you endured from his character defects. Accept it as a fact of your past. Alot of times we try to fight things we want to have different and we visit the pain over and over. Change your thoughts, nothing will change what is in the past. " I can only escape a bad past by adding something better to my future. Your emotions all come from your thoughts, so be always aware of controlling, shutting down and replacing bad thoughts with gratitude, healthy thoughts and stay logical instead of letting emotions take over you. Ask yourself, what will cutting change or help, the answer is always nothing. Knowledge is power, educate yourself- read up on why people have done this

    Answer by LeJane at 3:00 PM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • as well as the suggestion to over come. Picture one of your kids cutting, stay strong for them. Life is too short to live it in misery, doubt and conditioned depression. Keep a good perspective. You can only control yourself, we are powerless over anyone but us. It sounds like your husband is trying to be the man he needs to be for you. Remember that we are all human and make mistakes, act as if it never happened. If anything happens in the future then make a decision, but give him the benefit of the doubt. He doesn't have a chance to be the man you need if you don't forgive him, not to mention you will remain miserable. Alot of couple go through problems. Take time to find yourself and live your dreams, figure out what you like to do and although you are busy, set goals and make changes to keep yourself happy and well balanced. Make a Bucket list and live well before your time is up. Good luck.

    Answer by LeJane at 3:07 PM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • I have never cut and I don't really have any advice for you about cutting but I know you have to stay strong for your children. I am and have been going through a very similar situation with my husband. If you could use someone to talk to that understands, your welcome to message me.

    Answer by tiffanynichols at 3:19 PM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • I am a recovering cutter. What can I tell you, the urge never truly vanishes. When you feel the urge, distract yourself in some way that is healthy--take a walk, come in here and read some questions, call a trusted friend, whatever you can do to NOT cut, until your anxiety drops and the urge goes away. Any time you are successful in avoiding the behavior, make sure you praise yourself. Also, you and your husband should have frequent and good communications about everyone's feelings. If you feel that you can't achieve that goal on your own, get some help from a counselor. Above all, value yourself enough to recognize that you need support and help and ask for that support and help. You can do this.

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 3:27 PM on Apr. 1, 2011

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