Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

7 Bumps


I mean, being a mom in GENERAL is difficult enough! but when you come from a different country, it's twice as tricky...
I mean, what do you teach your kids? we are americans? or stay true to your culture? I can't help but wish I was still in my home country, so my kids could grow up with their grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins etc, and be surrounded by their culture....but we came to this country so our kids can have freedom and opportunity and education....but is that worth losing your culture?
I'm a mommy from the middle east... what about all of you?? my friend is an italian momma, with the same problem....can anyone relate with not knowing how to bring up your kids, in a foreign country?
please help!

any other moms in my position??

Answer Question

Asked by mommywith4kids at 4:33 PM on Apr. 1, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Level 4 (46 Credits)
Answers (18)
  • I don't have an answer for you but i hope you get a support group on here of people who deal with the same thing. I guess you say you are americans since you are raising your kids as americans but practice your culture in your home. Be proud of who you are and remind them often of their heritage. I think it is possible to enjoy both cultures and be influenced by the best of both worlds. They will be very well rounded kids.

    Answer by ria7 at 4:42 PM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • thank you everyone for the bumps!
    and yes, ria, I try my best to give them "the best of both worlds!"
    but it is VERY difficult when my 13 year old son is walking around with his boxers hanging out saying "YO" and my 17 year old daughter wants to go clubbings!
    and when I say " PULL UP YOUR PANTS! and oh HELL NO you are not going to a club! especially not dressed like THAT!"
    they say to me, "chill out mom, my friends are doing it, it's the normal thing to do...this is AMERICA, not "abu dees" !(which is the arabic way to say my home town's name)
    I can't help but think, if we were in my tiny, old fashioned town....this wouldn't happen!

    Comment by mommywith4kids (original poster) at 4:55 PM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • You do both!! You teach the most important things from both cultures. Sure you're here and you have to adapt, but that doesn't mean that you give up your culture. Teach what's most important to you and begin to make your own traditions here.

    Answer by skittles1108 at 5:00 PM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • thank you everyone, for all the answers!!!!
    so where are all of YOU from? :) I might start a group, specifically for immigrant mommies :)

    Comment by mommywith4kids (original poster) at 5:09 PM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • I am an immigrant mom too. I hear you. My son is just 5yo and I already am thinking towards the days he'd become a teenager. The only consolation I get is that both me and his dad (who is Caucasian) agree to how we are going to bring him up. Peer pressure is very strong at your children's age, but if they have a good sense of their home values which we as parents should be stressing out, they'd be fine.

    Answer by filmom2ethan at 8:08 PM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • I think you can do both, raise your kids as "americans" and still keep your culture. My parents are immigrants, I'm first generation American. I like living here and I'm proud of the way my parents raised me. They still managed to keep us surrounded by the culture of the country they were born in. Now I hope I can do the same for my son.

    Answer by myree85 at 11:56 PM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • my question is to you dear, if you think you can establish you life there like you did here, and you really sure how you want the culture part going on for you kids then go for it lady. You want is safety, freedom, good life dont you?
    I am from Ukraine and i spent 20 years here in US. There were times where i came across some nagative people but most i came across nice positive people, all i listen is my hart then my mind. I love this country and my kids will grow up here i will teach em about where their bios came from they dont have to stick to culture. They can b themslves isn't why we came here?

    Answer by remedy373 at 1:37 PM on Apr. 2, 2011

  • All I can add to this is I grew up in a very strict European house because of how my Mom was raised. I rebelled because it was too much, I wasn't aloud to do much of anything where it came down to me wanting to live in a group home which I did for a while. My Mother & I had a horrible rocky relationship always & now when she talks she will say " I was like that because I didn't know any better, my parents were a certain way I just didn't know how to deal with being in another culture a more relaxed culture & raising a girl the worries" I totally get it now, but it was really hard, so if I can give any advice I would say yes the best of both worlds for sure for ur children & try to give some breathing room to your kids when they get a little older & welcome their friends, ur home, have an open mind & don't be too harsh like my Mom was even though it was her best intentions at the time it kind of back fired & she realizes now.

    Answer by sarasmommy777 at 1:58 PM on Apr. 2, 2011

  • BUMP

    Answer by sarasmommy777 at 2:30 PM on Apr. 2, 2011

  • We lived in Germany for 3 years and taught our kids European history as well as our own. We mixed and added their language so that we knew we could efficiently communicate and get along. We picked up some of their customs and kept them as well as shared our own (you would be AMAZED at home many people come over when you say you are having an American BBQ).

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 2:32 PM on Apr. 2, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.