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Should I write back?

My grandfather and I have never been close. He treated my family like crap for many years until my dad finally cut all contact after he stole all his property, left us homeless and tried to have him committed. I met him again when I was 14, and tried to keep in touch... but he just sends form letters and every time I have written him an email or a letter it has gone unanswered, or been answered with a forward or a form letter.

For the last several years he has been sending form letters out to everyone he has an address for, asking for money for his missionary project. He is always very evangelical in them. I'm not Christian, but I like reading about what he's doing on his mission. But he keeps scrawling pathetic little notes on the bottom of the form letters like "I hope you are anxious for Jesus to come." followed by "Please let me hear from you."

Part of me wants to continue to ignore these letters, part of me wants to write him and update him on everything that has happened in my life since we last spoke (while I was pregnant with my 3 year old) and the last part of me wants to write him and tell him to stop trying to convert us, that we like to hear from him only if he will respect our beliefs, and how much it hurts me when I write him heartfelt letters that he ignores.

What should I do?


Asked by Ati_13 at 5:25 PM on Apr. 1, 2011 in Relationships

Level 24 (21,184 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • We all make mistakes. His missionary work seems to be very important to him. It's sad that he doesn't write except for passing around the tithing plate. However, if you want to write him and tell him of everything that's happened, do so. It doesn't mean you're converting or offending him. Tell him what you want to say about your family, but also, tell him that any donations you make, will be made at your church, or to whatever charity you want. Wish him well in his quest and ignore the pleas for money. You'll feel better because you poured your heart out and also let him know where you stand. It's up to him to write back, but don't hold your breath.

    Answer by Droyal14u at 6:05 PM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • are you even kidding me right now? I wouldn't give that idiot the time of day and I would throw away any further letters.

    Answer by 8Tinkerboo8 at 5:29 PM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • If he doesn't answer your letters, why bother? I know you're hurt, I would be, too. But, in another sense, apparently he doesn't really care. He just wants the gifts of money to keep his mission going. Not very Christian in my book. I would have to ignore his letters.

    Answer by Kimimale at 5:33 PM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • If he's sending you form letters asking for money with nothing more than a little note scrawled at the bottom that is so impersonal that it could have been added to a hundred other letters, I'm sorry, but he doesn't give a rat's patooty about you and your family.

    Next time you get a letter from him, don't open it. Mark it "return to sender" and put it right back into the outgoing mail.

    Answer by Eek_a_Geek at 5:34 PM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • I totally agree with Eek a Geek. He's made clear to you that he doesn't care about you. I know that has to hurt, and I don't think anyone would say you're wrong to be hurt. But don't continue to put yourself out there to be hurt. Stop reading his letters, and don't waste your precious time that could be spent with your child, your husband, and other members of your family that DO care about you, writing that jerk letters that he won't even read.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 5:45 PM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • Since he is so Christian, send him a card for Easter with a letter, taking the advice of Droyal14u.

    Answer by CoffeeWriter at 7:41 PM on Apr. 1, 2011

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