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Reasonable punishment

a couple of questions
1st- what is a reasonable punishment for a 9 yo boy who came in after dark on a school night without completing hw? he came in around 8:30 clearly dark?
2nd my live-in boyfriend set it to be until the 15th. how do i discuss with him that i feel this is unreasonable w/o my son disregarding any discipline that he helps out with? and was this unreasonable?


Asked by bethany0199 at 5:37 PM on Apr. 1, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 9 (294 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • 1) why is a 9 yr olf boy given that much freedom. Why didnt anyone stick their head out the door and call him home? I have a 9 yr old and that is bed time.... where the heck were the adults????? Who let him out with out doing homework???? Perhaps HE isnt the one who needs to be parented.

    2) Live in boyfriend?! Great example mom. Why is the live in boyfriend handing down punishments... shouldnt that be MOMS job???

    Yes... I disagree with the punishment.


    Answer by Anonymous at 5:41 PM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • I would set the first time at a week, the second time at two weeks...but never tell you son that your BF is out of line or wrong. Tell BF to talk with you first before making a decision like that. Then, homework will be done before going out to play...or else.

    Answer by Kimimale at 5:41 PM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • Where could a 9 yo have been that late? I would make him come straight home from school, do homework, no tv, no video games, no computer for the duration of the punishment.I don't think that 2 weeks is unreasonable. If your BF is the male figure in DS's life, don't over-rule the punishiment he set, it'll set a bad precident. If you don't like the punishment, then ask him to discuss it with you next time before telling DS what his punishment will be. Set some real ground rules now, or deal with an impossible teenager.

    Answer by Kimedbs at 5:42 PM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • WTH???

    Your 9 yr old has aspergers, autism, AND adhd (according to your profile) and no one is actively parenting this kid???? I have a 9 yr old who has been tested at a comprehension level about 3 grades above where she is and I wouldnt give her that freedom.


    Answer by Anonymous at 5:44 PM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • i would take away any electronics that he may have and t.v if he has it in room and i do think that going until the 15th is harsh. Was this the first offense?

    Answer by amberpaiz at 5:41 PM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • ANON- this IS the 21st century in regards to the live in bf comment-hes also black and im white-when u have been a single parent for 9 years and someone comes along that u trust and care for and they offer help with raising a son,[ who has never ever had a male role model in his life] u can take a deep breath and actually relax a bit, i welcome the help, whether or not i agree with it fully. i can bet youre a conservative the one that demeans women who have abortions but expect young women to raise a healthy well rounded kid alone with no help from the govt or anything. if thats the case u disgust me. anywho. u asked where are the parents, i was at home cooking, cleaning, doing laundry.
    My son was supposed to be at his friends house but left shortly to another friends he stayed there. and did not let me know. then came home. AND if i was a parent who needed parenting, then i would not have even cared enough to ask for adv

    Comment by bethany0199 (original poster) at 5:54 PM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • 9 year old with special needs has no business being out that late without supervision. Also homework is done first before any play in my house. Sounds like some parenting issues going on. Maybe you were at work and didn't know is what I am hoping. If you were home I would ask how this happened?? Did you know where he was or who he was with.. Why not go get him?? He needs supervision if he has the issues you say. With that said, issues or not his age alone is too young to be out past dark. Time can get away from a kid, it is easy but not acceptable.. I am not saying any of this to be mean.. Just some questions for clarification..

    A boyfriend of only a few months should not "discipline" your child period..

    Answer by midnightmoma at 5:59 PM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • I agree with the first anon.............does your son have cell phone yet? maybe a prepaid can help with this.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:02 PM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • Points taken.

    I still have to question why he has that much freedom at such a young age. I have 3 kids (youngest 9) and they are REQUIRED to call me when they change locations.

    I still think YOU should be handing down the punishments and not a live in boyfriend. And I do think that 15 days is ludacris.


    Answer by Anonymous at 6:02 PM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • AGAIN anon- please research those diagnosis b4 judgement- really- all my neighbors and parents of his friends are aware even my office and security are informed about him, i live in a safe neighborhood and he is always watched and taken care of, the matter of this point was he failed to obey the rule of coming home before it got dark and was his punishment unreasonable. dont attack or judge and if u are going to comment like that at least dont be a coward and hide your identity

    Comment by bethany0199 (original poster) at 6:04 PM on Apr. 1, 2011