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3 Bumps

Why can't she sleep over?

Okay to me this is no biggy because I'm in charge and I said so but for the other party it is. My daughter called and said she "accidently" called her aunt ( a aunt I no longer talk to like that but don't have a problem with my daughter spending time with her and her daughter) and asked for if she could spend the night, her aunt said yes but told her not to tell me that she "accidently" called and asked before talking to me. Because of this I said no, and I already have plans to take my daughter to the movies tomorrow. My daughter said well "mommy I will tell her I can't spend the night but she is going to ask why and I will tell her we have something to do. I told her no. You just tell her my mom said no. So a few minutes later the aunt calls me and ask with an attitude why can't she spend the night. Because I was at work I simply said because I said no. I'm at work around others so of course I am not going to go into details. She than says what are you doing that is so significant that she can't sleep over? I again said no and that I didn't have to justify my answer or what I was doing to her or any one else. She finally said whatever and hung up. Please provide some feedback I really want to know what others have to say about the situation because in this case I don't believe I am wrong?

Answer Question
 
Shagara03

Asked by Shagara03 at 5:52 PM on Apr. 1, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 5 (90 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • I am on your side here~! Way to stick to your guns mom.
    ElenaC419

    Answer by ElenaC419 at 5:55 PM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • Sounds like you have a problem with the aunt and that's why you wouldn't let her stay. Sounds like a control issue and you really look like the bad guy. I'd say you're wrong.
    onethentwins

    Answer by onethentwins at 5:55 PM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • I don't think you're decision was wrong, but I can see how the aunt would think you were just keeping her from spending the night because you have a problem with her personally. On one hand, it's true, you don't owe her an explanation. On the other hand, rather than make things worse between you, it might be courteous to let her know it has to do with your daughter this time, but you're fine with her staying over another time.
    Adelicious

    Answer by Adelicious at 5:55 PM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • Well, you are upset because she said yes before even asking you, I get that, but family time is really important for a girl her age, just something to think about.
    older

    Answer by older at 5:56 PM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • She's teaching your daughter it's okay to lie to you!! I would have a problem with this woman too, even if only based on that fact and not the facts I know! You don't need to offer her an explanation. It's your child.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:59 PM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • Sorry - based on the other facts I don't know.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:00 PM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • I am on your side . . . it shouldn't really matter why, when momsays no, it means no.

    But, I would probably call aunt and just tell her what you beef with her is. There is already strife, so nothing will be damaged by getting it out into the open.
    ImaginationMama

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 6:01 PM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • I am on your side here. One of my nieces asked my mom if she could spend the night at our house and my mom told her yes. Then my sis told my niece no. Probably because my niece asked her grandma before she asked her mom. Whatever the reason was, my mom didn't call my sis and demand to know why she couldn't spend the night. She figured she had her reasons and let it go. Which is probably what your daughter's aunt should have done.

    nmmama09

    Answer by nmmama09 at 6:05 PM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • Just told your story to my husband. We BOTH agree with you 100%. That aunt had NO RIGHT to tell your daughter to keep this from you, AND had no right to pick a fight with you, over the phone, while you are at work.

    Wish more moms would stick to their guns like you did!
    Rosehawk

    Answer by Rosehawk at 6:26 PM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • geez and my SIL has conflicts with me!
    Niece tried to say that I did for a while, but it all came out in the wash. SIL didn't talk to me about it, when the truth was that niece came to me, wanting to do something and I told her no, she wanted to do it and lie to mommy and daddy.
    Turned out she went and did said thing, then said that I said it was OK, but to not tell mommy and daddy.

    are you SURE that the aunt told your daughter to say that? did you ask her aunt what her side was? Kids can easily turn two people against each other then they know they won't discuss the matter, and that sounds like it's the case here!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:47 PM on Apr. 1, 2011

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