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3 Bumps

Need some unbiased opinions

me and my baby's father were togther for 4.5 years. we broke up almost a year ago. he moved to louisiana (his family is there) and me and our daughter stayed in texas. we recently got back together. i went to visit him and his family last weekend (me and my daughter were there for 4 days) and we had lot of fun and liked where he lives. he is willing to move back to texas when he gets done with school (3 months) but he also wants me to consider us moving ther since we like it so much and his family is way more active and united than mine. i dont really communicate with my family because there is really noone i connect with. im 27 and my youngest cousin is 23 and his girl is 21. i just dont connect with them, i am pretty much an only child, i have 2 young neices but we rarely see them and i dont really agree with my step brother and his girls' views on a lot of things. honestly the only thing thats holding me back is my best friend. i dont want to leave her. shes like a sister to me and thats like moving away from a sister. she helps me a lot and i see her on a daily basis because we work together. what do ya'll think?

 
iluvmybabe

Asked by iluvmybabe at 6:59 PM on Apr. 1, 2011 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,229 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • I understand your feelings, leaving behind even a single close person is hard but what you have to do is decide what is best for your daughter - do you think it would be better to stay close to your friend or would it be better for you and your daughter to be closer to her family? I'm close to both my family and my husband's family, we were both raised to put family before anything else so to me being close to family would be more important. My best friend of 14 years, who I consider a sister, will be moving several hundred miles away in a couple years and even though we still have at least two years before that happens I'm dreading it because its like being away from family though I do have brothers and cousins who have moved to various parts of the U.S. and we make sure to stay connected through phone calls, texts, e-mails, and facebook when we can't visit.

    anon1986East

    Answer by anon1986East at 7:07 PM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • i think that you should give it time and see if the relationship is gonna last first you said he has 3 months left of school maybe wait until he is done and then consider where you guys are at then. And i can understand the not wanting to leave the best friend. i myself have two sisters (they were my adoptive sisters) and we never became very close even tho i tried. Then i met my now best friend and instantly i felt like she was the sister that i always wanted she has been there for me thru EVERYTHING and i would have a hard time leaving her as well. So my best advice is really think it thru and make sure its something that you want to do i think that four days of fun might not be enough time to make a real move like that. I hope that helps
    amberpaiz

    Answer by amberpaiz at 7:04 PM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • I think if you really like the area that he's in now and his family is supportive then it may be worth considering a little more than you are now. You're best friend could visit you or you could visit her and there's plenty of ways to stay in touch with her. Moving also gives you a chance to make new friends and connect with more people. If you end up going, make sure that if after you've been given ample time to adjust that if you don't like it or just can't seem to fit in that he'll still be willing to move back to texas. If that makes any sense with the way I worded it.
    bdflykisses

    Answer by bdflykisses at 7:04 PM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • I'd probably move to Louisiana. Close family is a good thing to have, especially when you have children, and if you like it so much there, I don't see why you shouldn't try it out. It could be a nice change. :-)
    alf2651

    Answer by alf2651 at 7:05 PM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • well if you thin the realtionship is going to work this time i would def. consider moving but you also have to consider scooling ect for your child i know the boat ur in i just moved 40mn from my best friend for work and it really suxs she is my sons God mother and i freakin miss her like crazy and make sure there is someone up there that you can connect/talk to when you and SO fight your ganna need someone on ur side good luck mommy
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:05 PM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • Well I understand the importance of a best friend (I live 4 hours from mine) I believe moving to LA is the greater good for your family - don't you? You've said his family is much closer which gives you more support and if they are welcoming of you then why not? NOW the other part of me says that most times a woman moves for a man can prove disastrous for her so be sure this what you want. You are a grown woman - I think you must choose your family over staying somewhere so you can still play with your friend. Good luck!
    8Tinkerboo8

    Answer by 8Tinkerboo8 at 7:06 PM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • Personally, i would not move for a man unless it was a decision we made together for the benefit of our family. You and your boyfriend just got back together after a yearlong break up. To move, even though you liked the place, is a huge risk. You were only there for a few days. Not only do you give up seeing your friend but a job and your child's home. I would wait until he finishes school and moves back. If things are working out, it is a decision you can always revisit in the future.
    balagan_imma

    Answer by balagan_imma at 7:06 PM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • I wouldn't move,or have him move,without a wedding date set
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 8:12 PM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • I say go for it! Texas will always be there if it doesn't work out. I have really enjoyed moving to new states, to see what is was like. My SO and I have lived in NY, ME, CO and now WV in 7 years. Sounds like you already know you want to go there you just need reassurance it's the right choice. Good Luck!
    Pamarita

    Answer by Pamarita at 8:39 PM on Apr. 1, 2011

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