Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

Birth Control

Ok, so along the lines of the 16 & Pregnant / Teen Mom
I read a comment on that post and I was wondering...

If you talk to your child (teen) about sex and buy them condoms and birth control, is that kind of like allowing or telling your child it is ok to have sex? Do you think they would be more likely to have sex then as if you told them no or didn't purchase it for them?


Asked by ItsJustMe1017 at 10:09 PM on Apr. 1, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Level 17 (4,732 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (24)
  • I think they WOULD be more likely to use it...coming from a position where I was able to get those things. ALSO, my daughter will never take a hormonal birth control as a minor.

    Answer by Renee3K at 10:20 PM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • That's like saying if I teach my kid gun safety and give them access to guns are they going to go out murdering people? It's knowing that they will be exposed to something beyond your control and equipping them with the tools to handle the situation, while acknowledging they have their own choices to make.

    Answer by EdwinsMommy at 10:59 PM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • No I don't think they'd be more likely to do it. I was given everything I needed to stay safe while doing it and I didn't even consider using what I was given until I felt like I was ready to do it, which was much later.

    Answer by bdflykisses at 10:12 PM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • When I decided I was ready to have sex, it wasn't because there were condoms laying around, just waiting to be used. And there were plenty, I had an active older sibling. It was simply because I was ready. The only difference between the teens who were educated and had access to BC and those who weren't/ didn't was that those of us in the first group were doing it safely.

    Answer by mandaday at 10:41 PM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • So I guess my point is I don't think access is promotion, but I think all options need to be shared with our children. Well informed hopefully they will make good, healthy, responsible decisions.

    Answer by LoveBuggsMommie at 10:32 PM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • I was on BC as a teen, but stuck to my morals and waited until marriage

    Answer by RISE_N_SHINE at 10:42 PM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • For me, I know I had sex earlier because it was "safe."

    Answer by camiam81 at 10:23 PM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • Okay, I know I'm not going to make friends with this one, but that's okay. My children aren't teens yet, my oldest is going to be 5. BUT, I don't think it's wrong for teens to have sex. I grew up in a home where the "sex talk" didn't even happen because my mother felt explaining sex would make us want to do it. Masturbation was even a punishable offense! We were told every evil thing about sex from the time we were little - and I still had sex, LOTS & LOTS of sex as a teen. Now as a mother I don't see an issue with teens having sex, but I do teach my children (and yes, I've already started this) to have safe sex. We impress that sex should be done ONLY once both parties are over the age of consent, with protection and because YOU want to. That said, we do not believe hormonal BC is EVER a good option and we will teach our children that as well, but if that's the option that works best, we will consider it as a family.

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 9:23 AM on Apr. 2, 2011

  • Teens aren't going to have sex BECAUSE you give them BC. They are going to have or abstain from sex depending on many factors, including what you each them, but also including things like thinking they are in love. You can't control every aspect of your child's life. You can only prepare them and arm them with knowledge and tools. BC is a tool. Beopen and honest with your kids and hopefully they will make smart choices.

    Answer by Nicoles2LilRams at 2:29 PM on Apr. 2, 2011

  • I took birth control as a teenager to assist with menstrual problems I was having, it did not make me more prone to have sex, in fact I was one of the last of my friends to lose my virginity. I don't think giving teens access to condoms and birth control make them more likely to engage in sex, in fact I bet many choose not to utilize those resources and still engage in unprotected sex. I have a preschooler but as she gets older I won't be signing her up for birth control so she has a green light on sex, but i'm not saying i would never let her. I will have open conversations with my daughter about the only 100% sure way to not get pregnant and not get diseases is abstinence. The part I struggle with here is I love my daughter and do not regret having her, but I will be having to find a way to let her know I conceived her because of birth control (it regulated me). cont'd

    Answer by LoveBuggsMommie at 10:31 PM on Apr. 1, 2011