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Is it okay to go out with friends and not feel bad about it? if so... how do i feel okay with it?

I NEVER go out because i feel guilty. Even if my boys are with theor dad for the weekend, i stay home. i dont go out to bars because i dont want people to think im trashy.... is my thinking wrong?

Answer Question
 
dfwhite

Asked by dfwhite at 10:31 PM on Apr. 1, 2011 in Entertainment

Level 14 (1,702 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • if you don't feel good about going to certain places, or being with certain people, then don't. don't apologize for your feelings.
    find something and different friends to go out with. you need the socialization, momma. but if its not fun for you, no one can tell you how to make it more fun.
    you just gotta find what is appealing to you, and enjoy it! (maybe you've grown out of those old friends??? just a thought!)
    dullscissors

    Answer by dullscissors at 10:35 PM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • You should go out and have fun "you time" every now and again. It should put you in higher spirits because giving yourself this time helps you to be refreshed and be a "better mommy". You shouldn't feel guilty about going out and having some fun every now and then.
    Kword

    Answer by Kword at 10:36 PM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • Go out for something that you enjoy and with people you like being with. How about suggesting that you and some friends go out to a restaurant that you enjoy.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 10:38 PM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • Find someone to do less crazy things with like going to the movies to see a movie that is rated too high for you to take your boys. Or even a nice dinner to have adult convo with someone.
    bdflykisses

    Answer by bdflykisses at 10:40 PM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • Me and my bf leave the kids with their grandma every once in a while and go out to the bar with friends.. we enjoy it, and need a break, we never get "trashed" or do anything stupid, and no one judges us for having a night out.
    sarahlu

    Answer by sarahlu at 10:40 PM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • You should go out and socialize, it is a very healthy thing to do . Nobody is going to think less of you going out for an evening with friends as long as you are not leaving children home alone. You should really not feel guilty spending some time on yourself or spending some time with friends.

    I do understand your point on the bars. But it does not have to be drinking at a bar to go out of the house with friends. There are so many other places and ways to have fun. If your friends are really set on going to the bar, why not go along with them. You do not have to drink or pick anyone up, just let yourself relax and have some fun with your friends. No one is going to judge you poorly for that.
    spottedpony

    Answer by spottedpony at 12:59 AM on Apr. 2, 2011

  • Girl, you can't feel guilty for going out and socializing! Especially if your kids are with their father. Every mom needs down time and things to do that interest her and make her feel alive. I think the type of socializing you are speaking of (bars) are making you feel guilty. Find something/someone different. Join a book or cooking club. Use cafemom to meet women in your area to make friends with. And if you were using the bar scene to meet someone special, join a free dating site instead. Your kids are your life, but sqeeze some time in there for you!!
    XoXo
    Kari727

    Answer by Kari727 at 2:09 AM on Apr. 2, 2011

  • Yes, it is wrong. You need time for yourself. You need to like yourself and be comfortable doing things that you enjoy. Going out to bars with your friends does not make you trashy unless you are behaving like trash by getting drunk, sleeping around, etc. Respect yourself first. No one has the right to judge you. Take a step back, reassess your feelings about yourself, and then do what is right for you. You may feel guilty at first, but in time it should get easier and easier to pat yourself on the back and feel that you deserve more in life.
    rosiemendo

    Answer by rosiemendo at 8:29 AM on Apr. 2, 2011

  • find something else to do! I go to bookstores, coffee shops, museums, art or cooking classes....whatever I can that I can enjoy!
    sokkamum

    Answer by sokkamum at 12:33 PM on Apr. 2, 2011

  • No you are not trashy your a mom. This is why you feel that way and you should go out with girl friends but not to bars. You can have a ladies night in and have drinks and movies. I know what you mean because i dont get out at all but to the store and then i have to drag the kids along too LOL.. You can still go out with out feeling bad just go some where you would like to do but can because the kids are always with you, you like get your nails done or go to the spa and get a nice body rub those always fell good. You have to be able to have time for you or when your with the kids you start to get cranky. Now listen to me i dont ever have time to my self with four kids they even follow me into the bathroom..
    butterflies78

    Answer by butterflies78 at 5:29 PM on Apr. 2, 2011

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