Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

How long did it take for you relationship to go from "HOT" to just everyday life?

I am a cynic and try not to be but when there is a couple all strung out on love and chemistry and they hurry into marriage because they just love eachother sooo much....I just have to roll my eyes because love does not make the marriage, it is common interests and being compatible 24/7 and if your not then have the ability to communicate what you need to have changed and be mature enough to change without argument....
I really think that is why divorce is so high because people rush into things then crash and burn, picking the kids out of the ashes, dusting them off and telling ourselves they will be fine.

Answer Question

Asked by alotleft2do at 11:55 PM on Apr. 1, 2011 in Relationships

Level 18 (5,609 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • I agree with you..people rush marriage wayyyy tooo soon. Marriage isnt just about "Love". its WAY more than that. Its about communication,trust, love, passion..the ability to STAY together when things get tough..learning to change not only by themselves but as a grow and help each other become better people....and alot more lol.

    I am not married..but i have been engaged twice..but in the end we broke it off because I dont take marriage lightly and they did. I have watched way to many people get divorced for no reason. I dont believe in it other than abuse!

    Answer by SweetPoison at 12:00 AM on Apr. 2, 2011

  • I think it's always a gamble just some have better odds ;p

    Answer by kayslay at 12:12 AM on Apr. 2, 2011

  • It took my huz and I four years and 2 kids later to finally put a ring on it.. I can honestly say it's still HOT. He's for sure the one for me and I for him, life mates/soul mates/whatever... We tell each other how much we love one another everyday, we talk about EVERYTHING, good and bad and never go to bed angry. Sure we argue but we always make up. And it is HOT, HOT, HOT.

    Answer by TexasMama2Boys at 12:13 AM on Apr. 2, 2011

  • I think you may be right. Some people to rush in and confuse love and lust. Eventaully though you always see through the lust and then thats when marriage should be something to discuss and plan out.

    Answer by katcb1019 at 12:26 AM on Apr. 2, 2011

  • I agree, love is not enough. My husband and I are still hot, 5 years and 2 kids later. We've had our off days and weeks but make up sex is yummy ;-)

    Answer by GomezMami2908 at 2:20 AM on Apr. 2, 2011

  • We've been married for 12 years, two kids and one on the way, never had one fight. While we absolutely find one another attractive, our relationship was not based on sexual attraction originally, we were just friends for many years before one day, out of the clear blue sky, he asked me to marry him. Life gets complicated, sexual dry spells happen due to pregnancy, illness, circumstances, stress or Kid Shenanigans and it's helpful if you have the inner security that he sees you as more than a choice piece of ass.

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 8:56 AM on Apr. 2, 2011

  • Agree. People need to think of their children first and foremost.

    Answer by KateShesGreat3 at 9:39 AM on Apr. 2, 2011

  • I know what you mean. After being with my husband for about three or four years we decided to get married but he tried living toegther first before making any rash decisions. So if you think its gonna last you should reexamine your relatuonship before you rush ito it.

    Answer by shelle21 at 9:39 AM on Apr. 2, 2011

  • My hubby and I are just, not normal, couple wise. We met in a bar. And honestly, it WAS sexual attraction. Purely. We didn't know each other when we got married, how can you in 2 1/2 months? Except for about 3-4 days a month, when ya know, we had sex every night, sometimes more then once, when dating. We talked about getting married the following year, but he got orders to deploy, so, it was, 'lets get married next Wed'. 'OK'. And we did. 2 months later we decided I'd stop taking BC, and I immediately got pregnant.
    We have had ups and downs. Lots of them. We have cycles.
    We have 3 kids, and have been married for over 15 years. Our relationship is solid. We do so much better together then apart. We get depressed when apart, because we compliment each other and work much better when together.
    We are, apparently, just an odd couple. Especially since we are military. And it started out purely sexual attraction:)

    Answer by Raine2001 at 9:47 AM on Apr. 2, 2011

  • My hubby and I have a long history but I see your point because I was married once before and after 8 month I ran like hell. But my hubby and I have known eachother for 14 years and married for 4. We have one son and I can honestly say we go through phases. Some weeks it's average, normal and then we have the spicy weeks where I dress up and we give eachother massages and stuff. I think that keeps us balanced and I think it's a key factor in our marriage.

    Answer by gutterflower585 at 11:25 AM on Apr. 2, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Relationships
FMIL from hell

Next question overall (Shopping)
I need FREE Easter Ideas