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I'm just wondering...aside from genetic, health, or race issues, why do people feel the need to tell a child (specifically a child they have had since birth) that they are adopted!

UPDATE!!! Thank you to all of you for NOT answering the question at all!!! I said nothing about lying to your child, or faking like you gave birth to them or any other such nonsense!!! HAHAHAHAHA......hilarious that so many of you have such thin skin, if the question was so ridiculous you shouldn't have answered!!!! The question was WHY, not all these morality about "omg, how can you form a relationship built on lies!!" Give me a break, no I am not adopted, but I've known so many people that are and knowing they are adopted hasn't always been the positive fairytale of truth many of you described!! Aside from the fact that I really was asking because i have a friend who adopted a little girl (at 2 who is now 13) and you would think after all these years you would not have to keep introducing her as "my adopted daughter" is not making the little girl feel special (we chose you BS) and i don't think it is healthy, at what point is the child just your son or your daughter?!!!!

Answer Question

Asked by 2boyz2pray4 at 12:52 PM on Apr. 2, 2011 in Adoption

Level 13 (1,014 Credits)
Answers (22)
  • trust. I would be utterly shocked and hurt if my parents never told me.

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 12:53 PM on Apr. 2, 2011

  • Why wouldn't you tell a child? I have a lot of friends that were adopted and they are fine with that. If there was a medical condition that arose and I found out when I was an adult, I would feel hurt & betrayed. Those that are adopted should feel HONORED....they are the chosen ones.

    Answer by ItsJustMe1017 at 1:25 PM on Apr. 2, 2011

  • Truth & trust. I would have been very shocked & a little upset if my parents never told me.


    Answer by iluvmykidsxoxo at 1:41 PM on Apr. 2, 2011

  • All children/adults have a right to know their beginnings, their history, their heritage, their medical history and gentics. Not to mention trust, why would you lie to a child? I'm not an adoptee but a birth mother and my son has always known he was adopted, it has saved him issues regarding his identity and he knows his full medical history because he knows who I am.

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 2:22 PM on Apr. 2, 2011

  • Because in the old days when people did that, the results were disasterous. Nowadays, not only are adoptees told the truth of their origins, many are lucky enought to have continuing contact with their birth family. It is much better for the adoptee.

    Answer by onethentwins at 2:40 PM on Apr. 2, 2011

  • Honesty and love.

    Answer by meooma at 5:36 PM on Apr. 2, 2011

  • Why would you withhold such vital information from someone?? How would YOU feel if your found out everything you believed about your life was essentially a half truth? EVERY person deserves respect and truth about their beginnings. Period. The ignorance of this post is baffling to me...yeah, lying to a child is always a good idea... ( insert sarcasm here..)

    Answer by mcginnisc at 6:33 PM on Apr. 2, 2011

  • A better question is: why would parents feel a need to hide that reality from their children? Not telling your children is a recipe for potential disaster in so many respects. Lies nearly always come out in the end, better to be honest from day one.

    Truth and trust......I agree that about sums it up.

    Answer by Southernroots at 6:45 PM on Apr. 2, 2011

  • Because as a parent being open and honest with my child, is something that is most important. I could never, or would never hide the fact of adoption. He has every right to know the truth. Hiding the fact of his adoption, and his birth family is literally living a lie, something I would never want for my son. Trust is something that I want my son to have with me. If you hide something to me that is saying it is wrong. I want my son to know of the love from both his adoptive parents and his birth parents. Lies destroy families.

    Answer by Kellyjude1 at 8:04 PM on Apr. 2, 2011

  • without a doubt. I was at my sons birth and I would never keep the fact that he was adopted from him. we have been telling him since the day he was born. We want him to be familiar with adoption and all the terminology that goes with it.

    Answer by kristen308 at 8:23 PM on Apr. 2, 2011

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