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I want a baby an DH does not

How do you handle the situation that you want another child and your husband does not? Money is not an issue, age is not an issue. We have 3 children right now and I would like to have one more. He says 3 is enough. What should I say or do?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:56 AM on Nov. 29, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (16)
  • Listen to what he is asking would be a good start.You have 3 and he says enough. Would you really want to bring an unwanted (by your husband) child into the world? And if you ""accidentally"" got pregnant, it may be the end of your marriage. Why do you want another child and why does he not?
    Kat122

    Answer by Kat122 at 7:08 AM on Nov. 29, 2008

  • I agree with your husband. 3 is enough he says? He must have a reason for this statement. You know your husband better than anyone else here. ;-)

    And I totally agree with answer no.1
    m.robertson811

    Answer by m.robertson811 at 7:19 AM on Nov. 29, 2008

  • I say try telling him how much it means to you. My husband was the same way, we have two and I want one more and so were gonna try next year. Anyways he was completely against it but I explained to him what it's like to be a woman and to feel as though you're not complete until you feel inside that you are done. And I told him either he gave it to me or someone else would. I beleive men always think it's enough kids and would stop after one. But I know I feel like there is just more of me to give. But I also told my husband that I can't promise that I will have another and then not want another afterwards we would have to see after the baby came.
    maggieradford

    Answer by maggieradford at 7:44 AM on Nov. 29, 2008

  • And I told him either he gave it to me or someone else would.      maggie, I can't believe you would say something so stupid, and most of what you said is stupid. What about the women who cannot have children and they adopt. Some people cannot not even understand. MAGGIE, if you lose your husband, he will be lucky

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:54 AM on Nov. 29, 2008

  • I'm not even going to comment on the above response about "give it to me or someone else would", but man it's hard to not type on that one.
    If both of you don't want to have a child, then I think it'd be best to be happy to have the 3 you have and just not remove it from your wish list for the future. He could change his mind later but it's unlikely. I'd have liked to have had more too but I had to be realistic about it, hubby didn't want more, I have hard pregnancies, and I want to be able to give them nice things and it's just harder the more kids you have.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 9:21 AM on Nov. 29, 2008

  • I completely agree with the first two posters. You can't make your husband want another child if he doesn't. Marriage is about listening to each other and you need to hear him. And I would DEFINITELY not tell him you would find a way to have another with some other person ... that I imagine would end your marriage.
    ap9902

    Answer by ap9902 at 9:47 AM on Nov. 29, 2008

  • I think that your husband must have a reason as to why he doesn't want any more children. I also think that you know what his reason is and you don't care. I think you should be happy with the children you have. Sorry if it sounds mean but it's my opinion.
    crystac

    Answer by crystac at 10:34 AM on Nov. 29, 2008

  • Maggie: I hope "the other guy" does give you another baby and then you're left out on your ass with 2 men that don't want you because you're so stuck on yourself. Thats completely pathetic and to offer other people that kind of advice is stupid. I won't feel a bit sorry for you if you post a sob story in a few months about how Dh left you. DUH!
    munch12502

    Answer by munch12502 at 10:40 AM on Nov. 29, 2008

  • OP: I know how you feel. Dh was "finished" after each of our children. He didn't want anymore and we now have 3. I did not have any accidental pregnancies either. All 3 of them were planned by both of us. It's hard when you want something and your Dh doesn't. With me, I was able to convince him prior to pregnancy. Even know, when I'm saying I'm done, but what if....he's saying whatever you want babe. I'm lucky that I can talk to my husband and usually manage to convince him to see things my way. LOL but if you can't, you will really be putting a strain on your marriage if you secretly plan a pregnancy.

    Watch Dr. Phil. He did an episode about this once....he's one smart dude.
    munch12502

    Answer by munch12502 at 10:42 AM on Nov. 29, 2008

  • I say be careful what you wish for! I was in the same situation but we each had kids of our own not together. He finally gave in..."to make me happy" and now everytime things are rough for me or I want his help he tells me they are my responsibility because I am the one who wanted them not me. Do you want to spend the rest of your relationship with a man who resents you?
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 2:20 PM on Nov. 29, 2008

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