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5 Bumps

Has anyone ever had an abortion, what was it like? How did you feel? Was it painful?

I'm 37, have 7 kids and am just not sure I can deal with a new child financially, my husband says abortion but I'm swaying towards adoption so I thought I'd ask and explore all avenues even though I'm thinking abortion is something I don't agree with. I would do anything to keep this baby and have taken on another job in the hopes of swaying my DH's mind but he's right if I can't conjure up some money soon then I really don't have a keeping option. We used two forms of contraception and after this, whatever the outcome, I am having my tubes tied.

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Asked by Anonymous at 5:34 PM on Apr. 2, 2011 in Pregnancy

Answers (16)
  • I had to have an abortion when I was 17, I got pregnant and I told my mom and the only choice she gave me was that. The way they did it was enducing me to having a miscarriage. They gave me a pill to swallow while I was there and then a pill to take when I got home. And a script for Vicodin. It wasn't that painful but I was on bed rest the whole day. I regret doing it to this day. An ex got me pregnant, and my DH became my boyfriend a month after my abortion, he told me if I would have been able to keep it he still would have gotten with me and would have helped me raise it. I think about it everyday and now that I have children, it makes me feel like a "baby killer". Sorry but you should keep it I'm totally against abortion!

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:41 PM on Apr. 2, 2011

  • I've never had an abortion, but if it's something you don't agree with, then it could possibly cause some very damaging depression issues if you go through with it. Kinda like knowing you murdered a helpless infant.. I would definitely try to persuade you into going the adoption route. Is there anyone in your family that would adopt your baby so your children can still know who he/she is? Or a closed adoption if you don't want the updates and all that is better than abortion IMO. I'm sorry I couldn't answer your original question, but I wanted to put that out there for you.

    Answer by bdflykisses at 5:41 PM on Apr. 2, 2011

  • Thank you anon, I'm sorry that you had to go through that. Thanks also bdflykisses, I'm not sure there is anyone, I'm still doing my best to raise the money which I think I might be able to do, but we'll see. I think a closed adoption would be our only option if we went down that route.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 5:43 PM on Apr. 2, 2011

  • I had one at 16 and would not ever tell someone to have one. It was very traumatizing to me emotionally. I am over 40 and still havent gotten over it even though I am married, have kids, and even grandkids. If I had to do over again I would go with adoption. I was pressured into it though by both my bf and his parents, and I thought it was really the best option at that time. I cant tell you what to do. Yes I do feel now after having one and feeling that loss it is also morally wrong, but in the end it is your choice. But it is not just as easy as some women out there make it out to be. I some times think so many say oh I had one it was my choice and all that because they are looking for justification for what they did. In the end we all know it is wrong.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:49 PM on Apr. 2, 2011

  • i had an abortion at 19 and I do not regret it. If i had a baby then it would have ruined my life as well as the childs. You would not be a baby killer. You have 7 kids to care for...Think of the toll it will take on your kids to give a baby up...whatever you decide, i wish you the best...heartache will ensue no matter your decision. Abortion was not an easy decision but for me it was definately the right one

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:52 PM on Apr. 2, 2011

  • If you don't agree with abortion, then I think you'd regret going that route, in all honesty. I think the emotional implications would be more harsh than any physical pain you'd experience. I'm a big supporter of a woman's right to choose, but again, CHOOSE is the key word. It's not the right choice for everyone.
    Best wishes whatever you decide!! Hugs!

    Answer by musicpisces at 5:53 PM on Apr. 2, 2011

  • I did it was not really physically painful but it did cause me a lot of emotional distress and did destroy the relationship I was in so I think that it is a choice you have to live with and that it is something you really face alone. You need to think of your health both emotionally and pysically, no choice will be easy but whatever you decide you can't go back so no matter the opinion of anyone make this choice for you after all no one else has to live with the scars it mayor may not leave. This subject often falls into a touchy subject so as we all post lets remember we are not the one making this choice right now and be supportive and give only our best thoughts and prayers for this woman.

    Answer by graceblessedmom at 5:58 PM on Apr. 2, 2011

  • Oh and for me I wouldnt take the daddy with me into the room for some reason for me personally after that day all I could think everytime I looked at him was of that moment. Just a thought good luck in this choice

    Answer by graceblessedmom at 5:59 PM on Apr. 2, 2011

  • If you send me a PM I'll tell you my story - I tend to go into detail and I don't want to get attacked. :)

    Answer by AdensMama0308 at 5:59 PM on Apr. 2, 2011

  • I walked in the doctors office, shameful, I wanted to wear a mask to hide my face, although all the other females there were there for the same reason. I brought my BF at the time with me, for support, so I thought he would support me and make things somewhat better. Anyways,....they took my blood, asked me a bunch of medical questions, and took me back into a room, here comes the hard part....they took a vaginal sonogram of my belly, I was only 3 weeks along, I made sure I stayed on top of my pregnancy so in my head I wasn't aborting a baby, but just a blob of ''stuff'', nope, didn't work, after the sonogram and the doctor left, I broke down, I cried, cried and cried some more. I begged the doctor to come back in, when he came in, I was crying, sobbing, begging him to please put me to sleep, I couldn't afford to pay the extra to be put to sleep. He told me there was a chance since I was so early into pregnancy

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:26 PM on Apr. 2, 2011

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