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If the father of your child refuses to pay child support but wants to spend time with the child like weekend pick-ups etc..would you allow it ? when the child gets older, would you tell them that dad never supported you financially?

 
gwen20

Asked by gwen20 at 8:06 PM on Apr. 2, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 35 (71,622 Credits)
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Answers (11)
  • Even if a father does not pay his child support, he has every right to see his child. You may not like it, but that's how it works.
    Renee3K

    Answer by Renee3K at 8:07 PM on Apr. 2, 2011

  • The child doesn't need to know the financial aspects. The child needs to know the father, especially if the father is wanting to be a part of thier child's life.
    QandA

    Answer by QandA at 8:09 PM on Apr. 2, 2011

  • my children dont need to be bothered with grown up issues like child support, they just need a father.
    ElsaSalsaaa

    Answer by ElsaSalsaaa at 8:09 PM on Apr. 2, 2011

  • Is there an order for child support? If not, get one....but I wouldn't punish my child for the sins of his father. My ex owes 6 months in back child support, I have sole custody, visitation is at my disgretion, but I still let him see our son whenever he wants, our son wants to see him and he doesn't deserve to be punished because his dad isn't paying his CS
    Mom2Jack04

    Answer by Mom2Jack04 at 8:08 PM on Apr. 2, 2011

  • My ex is almost 20K behind in child support, but he still picks up the kids on his weekends. If I didn't let them go, he could take me to court for contempt, regardless of the fact that he doesn't pay his CS. I have no plans to tell my kids (9, 11, and 13) but when they are grown if they ask me outright why I always had such a strained relationship with their dads I will tell them - not that he's a jerk, that he's a deadbeat, etc. but just the facts . . . that he didn't pay child support (unless he's caught up at that point, which if he is then there's no reason to mess up their relationship with their dad). But they already know I pay for everything and when they want something they know to come to me, not him.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 8:10 PM on Apr. 2, 2011

  • even in the courts, child support and custody are two separate issues.

    its not about you or the father. its about your child. thats what happens when you become a parent. your life stops revolving around you and starts revolving around them.
    alleaeon

    Answer by alleaeon at 8:15 PM on Apr. 2, 2011

  • she said when the child gets older, no that shes telling the child now you dad wont pay me you child support. What does a child know. But maybe when the child is old enough, if that still the case I dont see nothing wrong with a 16 year old knowing that their father never payed child support.
    LittleBirdFly

    Answer by LittleBirdFly at 8:17 PM on Apr. 2, 2011

  • IMHO, I think you need to think more about what it will mean to the child to spend time with his/her father than punishing the father for not paying child support. It's not about you or him...it's about the CHILD.
    AllAboutKeeley

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 8:20 PM on Apr. 2, 2011

  • Even as the parent, you have no right to keep the kids from dad. DH's BM tries to do that, while they're going thru a custody battle. Like many other PP's said it's about the kids, not you and dad. And as one mom said, custody and child support are seperate, even in court. As long as he is being a good father, finances aside, him and the kids shouldn't be punished. If you don't have a current CS order out, do get one.
    JustCantWait88

    Answer by JustCantWait88 at 8:29 PM on Apr. 2, 2011

  • Absolutely not. I don't know if it's different from state to state or what, but when my BIL was having trouble with his ex not letting him see his kids, he didn't pay - his lawyer told him that if she coudn't live up to her end of the agreement he didn't have to either. He eventually took her to court and now has full custody (he's by far the better parent, his kids prefer to be with him and call his wife "mom", while they call their b-mom by her first name). So, find out of that's an option - no $ = no visitation.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:27 PM on Apr. 2, 2011

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