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i have a 3 year old little girl who has been through a rough life already with a abusivness by her dad towards me he is now in prison and its been almost a year now since we have been out of that situation but for the life of me i can not get her to respect me or other adluts she is bossy , throws crazy fits, and wont listen to a thing a say ive done tried everything i can think of and others advise but nothing seems to work please help me

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shy721

Asked by shy721 at 8:39 PM on Apr. 2, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • I think you might want to get her into a good child counselor. Good Luck
    ochsamom

    Answer by ochsamom at 8:40 PM on Apr. 2, 2011

  • You have to make her know that she either respects you and what you say, or she will pay the consequences. To be honest, her behavior sounds pretty typical for a three-year old who has not yet been taught that the two thinks she must do is obey her parents and respect their authority. I personally think there is no substitute for spanking to teach these principles. You tell her once. If she doesn't immediately obey, you don't threaten, count, or do anything else other than spank her bare behind or leg hard enough that she feels the sting of it. This is not something a child just grows out of. Unless you get a handle on it right now, your life is going to become more and more miserable.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:44 PM on Apr. 2, 2011

  • I agree with ochsamom
    bdflykisses

    Answer by bdflykisses at 8:45 PM on Apr. 2, 2011

  • She's three so still very young. She just needs to learn and at this age, she is soaking things up, learning fast. The best way to teach a child respect is to show her respect. Watch yourself, like you're looking at things in your home from through a window, and watch how you speak to her, how you act toward her. If you treat her with kindness and loving respect, she WILL reciprocate, once she gets used to it. I really do not mean to criticize your parenting, but a lot of parents treat their kids one way and expect them to act something complelely different and it just doesn't happen. I'd challenge you to be completely honest with yourself and have a long hard look at the little things you do and say that may be giving her a poor example to follow.
    judimary

    Answer by judimary at 8:46 PM on Apr. 2, 2011

  • spanking just leads to anger and resentment that qwill escalate her disrespectful behaviour and set you up for a lifetime battle, never being close to your daughter.
    judimary

    Answer by judimary at 8:49 PM on Apr. 2, 2011

  • My son was like that when we first left his father and he was just expressing something he could not before express he ended up going to play therapy and after a few sessions he was okay he went for a year but it sure helped him with what he could not say or did not know how to say. it might hep your daughter.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 8:51 PM on Apr. 2, 2011

  • ask your family doctor for a referral to a therapist
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 7:14 AM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • I'd talk to her pediatrician about getting a referral to a therapist.
    katzmeow726

    Answer by katzmeow726 at 10:50 AM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • My son was like that and after a while i got sick of it so every time he wouldnt listen i took away 1 special toy and if he didnt listen again i took another and another after awile all he had was his coloring books when he started listening to me he got one toy back a week but if he slipped again i took a toy back
    angelsmurf1989

    Answer by angelsmurf1989 at 11:48 AM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • She's grown up seeing disrespectfulness so it's not unusual for her to continue to do the same. With the parents that I work with, I have found that they are learning some behaviors at home (which is your daughter's case). Although her dad is no longer there, she still is using patterns that have worked for her. There is an article that I wrote on Bossy Kids that you may find really helpful.
    Here's the link for it:
    http://www.helpmealison.com/bossy-kids.html
    I wish you the best!
    AlisonAstair

    Answer by AlisonAstair at 1:08 PM on Apr. 4, 2011

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