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Why do people want so many kids?

I am really struggling with just one and I love him so much he's adorable and looks so much like his daddy! We both wanted a son and agreed completely on his name {Eugene} and not sure if we even would want another regardless of pregnancy/labor/birth etc. It would seem not right to deny a kid a sibling, but then would it? He won't be spoiled because you cannot over-love a child and we live below our means and have great values an anti-tv family btw we plan to homeschool both being college level thinkers [him with multiple degrees! and me with more than people would expect for my age {20}] I never thought I'd have ANY kids before meeting the love of my life..now I am happy. Between the trouble pumping enough milk out, stress, crying and lack of sleep we have come to joke that with each "bad" behavior {he's just over 2 months so no real bad behaviors just hurting with the ear shattering cries and kicks when feeding/changing, etc.} as being 'one step closer to no sibling' but honestly I don't think either of us have any intention of having another at this point..he theoretically [being a scientist] mused about the idea of having one of each but I doubt I'm capable of having a girl due to some temperature research and other variables...but anyways we figure-why? We won't let our sweet son get bored so one and done sounds good, right? Not that we could afford another much less all the possible repercussions such as the possibility of getting bacterial meningitis like the first... :.( and right now in my weird emotional state I have to ask-why on earth would anyone want more than one? I doubt I'll have any more...we'll see, say give it oh five years....[still enough ideal time]

 
LovableFox

Asked by LovableFox at 11:26 PM on Apr. 2, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 13 (1,245 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (23)
  • See, I can't imagine why you'd want to have just one. Sounds boring and a ton more work. I think about if we had stopped at our first. She would have drove me nuts wanting my constant attention because she wouldn't have anyone else to play with all day long. I'm not a social person (I actually suffer from severe social anxiety) so when my kids were little (before school age) their only friends were each other because I have no friends really in real life.
    I just can't imagine just 1 kid. I'm sitting here with my 8mo on my lap. he's the youngest of 5. Today we had a big birthday bash for my youngest daughter (#4, she tuns 5 on Tues). We had a houseful of kids of all ages. It was so much freaking fun. My dd was the youngest at almost 5. The other kids ranged in age from 7 to 11. My other kids are 10, 9 and 8. They all have the same group of friends, even the 5yo. There is always someone to play with in our house.
    justanotherjen

    Answer by justanotherjen at 12:10 AM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • To each his own.. I never thought I'd have any and now I'm baking number 4 =) We go through struggles, but I enjoy watching each one of them grow into their own person every day!
    bdflykisses

    Answer by bdflykisses at 11:30 PM on Apr. 2, 2011

  • Those of us with more than one can sit and ask, "why on earth would anyone want just one?!". Right now it sounds like you're just overwhelmed. Things may change and you guys may set into a better routine later in life. You may feel more ready to try for another at that point.

    Isn't the male's sperm what determines the gender of a baby??????
    Renee3K

    Answer by Renee3K at 11:31 PM on Apr. 2, 2011

  • I have four because that is what I chose. I can't fathom why anyone would only want one child.
    bcauseimthemom

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 11:39 PM on Apr. 2, 2011

  • I have a feeling you are just looking to belittle the mothers with more than one child and make yourself seem high and mighty for only having one. If you wanted a debate, then you should have posted this in the Parenting Debate category and not General Parenting. We love our children just as much as you love your child. Stop arguing with people about their reasons for wanting a big family.
    bdflykisses

    Answer by bdflykisses at 11:50 PM on Apr. 2, 2011

  • I have three and I cannot imagine not having more. We would like to have at least 5. One reason is the same as jademom mentioned. I would not want them to be alone when it came to dealing with the hard decisions when dh and I get older. Granted they may have other relatives to help, but to me that is not the same. My brothers and I were not that close growing up, I think more due to age differences than anything. They are 5 and 8 years older. Now that we are all grown, married, have children, we have a lot more in common. I call them when I need help, advice, etc. Beside my dh, they are the first people I turn too. I desire for my children to have such a relationship. My dh is the oldest of 6 and wouldn't change it for the world. A sibling bond is unique and I am glad my children are able to experience it. I am also glad that I am so blessed to watch their bond grow and play a role in that.
    JamieLK

    Answer by JamieLK at 11:56 PM on Apr. 2, 2011

  • I have 5 and I think why in the world would anyone just want to raise one. lol To each his own.
    okmommy08

    Answer by okmommy08 at 12:00 AM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • I wanted 5 because I love big families. At our age now, it's doubtful that we will pass 3...unless twins come along, lol

    I never wanted an only child for the simple fact that when I get old, they will be the only one to take care of things with me and with my death. I would rather that they have a support system in their siblings that they can lean on to deal with the hard stuff. Friends and spouses and relatives won't be the kid of help that they will need at that time.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 11:29 PM on Apr. 2, 2011

  • I have 3 daughters and I love the fact that after my husband and I are dead and gone, at least they'll have each other.....
    cfh72

    Answer by cfh72 at 11:31 PM on Apr. 2, 2011

  • I don't know ... my girlfriends with more kids (one with 4) say it's wayyyy easier with multiple than it is for us with just one. We're the child's playmate 24/7 where other sibs take that burden off.
    4EqltyMom

    Answer by 4EqltyMom at 11:31 PM on Apr. 2, 2011