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2 Bumps

Discipline for a child that doesn't seem to care if she gets in trouble????

So DD is 4 (5 in July) and for the last month she has been behaving really really bad...constant whining, tantrums, back talk, getting into things she knows shes not supposed to. We do not spank (and won't ever) But, I have tried EVERYTHING else. Time outs, losing privileges, positive reinforcement for good behavior...i am going out of my mind! I need some creative discipline techniques for a kid her age. Like i remember when i was old enough the punishment i hated the most was when i did something wrong i had to write 100 times "i will not do whatever" I hated it! I need something like that but, something appropriate for her age...ANY IDEAS????

Answer Question
 
momofone072506

Asked by momofone072506 at 11:40 PM on Apr. 2, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 16 (1,796 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • What is one of her favorite things? Mine hates to be left alone. When she gets in trouble...she gets a time out in a room where no one else is.

    Also, when she gets into trouble, I warn once, then time out. I don't talk to her or acknowledge anything she does. If she gets up, I put her back with no emotion not talking...it's a war of wills and I win.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 11:43 PM on Apr. 2, 2011

  • Spanking works. TRY it. Nothing else is working for you. The only thing you havnt tried is a swat on the but. Or put her in a chair facing a blank wall. Do it for hours if you have to. No talking no playing singing. You have to find what she really dosnt like, and Im betting a few swats on the bottom would work wonders.
    vbruno

    Answer by vbruno at 11:44 PM on Apr. 2, 2011

  • I like your philosophy of not spanking; you can take that idea a step further, and abandon the whole idea of punishments. I'm not saying to never correct a child or raise your voice, but I mean treat her with the same respect and courtesy you would any other person, a stranger, say. If she is rude, correct her, but in a polite way. Hey, that's mean, that hurts my feelings, how would that make you feel? that's rude, it makes me sad when you speak to me that way, kind of dialogue. The more you try to coerce her and control her, the more she's going to resist and resent you. So stop. Take a step back and rethink the whole battlefield mentality. Coupled with lots of positive happy responses when she is nice, it is actually a very powerful technique for changing the relationship into a more loving positive one. Try this completely new tactic.
    judimary

    Answer by judimary at 11:48 PM on Apr. 2, 2011

  • Judimary has some great advice. You have to look at a few things, 1.why has this become a new behavior, 2. what is she getting out of the behavior and 3. how are you responding to it.
    If you can address the root, older kids are back in school, she's out of school, daddy's working extra, whatever then you have a much better chance at stopping it. She's getting something out of behaving that way and my bet is it's attention (because with young kids that's usually what they are after). You may find that if your day is really busy and you're expecting her to entertain herself a lot that you will be successfull in a couple of ways, 1. find ways to include her- if you're making meals, she's old enough to help. Mine get out the cereal or oatmeal in the morning and get out their bowls. For lunch if I'm making anything that needs to be opened they get to open boxes or use their safety sissors to cut open packages.
    Mrs.Ziggy

    Answer by Mrs.Ziggy at 4:15 PM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • hate that you cant' write as much as you want in this forum.

    So beyond helping around the house, mine literally fight over the vacummn. Set aside at least 10 min every hour where you stop and play with her, read her a book, ect. With some positive, focused attention she may stop fighting to hard for negative attention. Also once you've establish a pattern of time with her she will be able to hold out when you remind her that in X amount of time you will be able to do X with her. Set up a behavior chart and have her reward be time with your and/or daddy.
    Mrs.Ziggy

    Answer by Mrs.Ziggy at 4:18 PM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • If this just recently started, I would try to find out what has happened to cause her to act out. (Fight with friend at school, friend moving away.) It could be something as simple or she may not be feeling well. With my boys, I use reward charts and consequences if they misbehave.
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 10:20 PM on Apr. 3, 2011

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