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3 Bumps

How do you get over a man you loved and had a child with?

Long story short.... I love this man (the father of my child) but he treats me like crap (beated me, lied, and made me feel worthless) I know it sounds stupid bu I still love him. I am still living with him because at the moment I don't have the money to move. Please don;t bash because I am going through enough. And I have tried the shelters around here but they are full.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:50 AM on Apr. 3, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • walk out walk away and don't turn back time is the only thing that will help you....one day you will met a real man a man that will treat you like a queen and nothing less...then you will sit back and say "wow"...sometimes we think it is love but it is not...nobody can actually be in love with an abuser they play with your mind so bad that you think you are in love but time will heal and time will bring your king to you....
    iNk-FrEaK

    Answer by iNk-FrEaK at 12:56 AM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • you love him and yes it might sound stupid to people that you are still with him, but when you love someone you dont just give up hope a person tries to make things better not only because they have a child with them but because they love them. And to be honest stayin with someone because you love them will never work...growing up my parents did that and it never workd. are you in love with him?? or u just love him?? cause if its just love then eventually you will get over it..i was with my ex for 6 years and one day just got tired of all the bs woke up and packed my belongings and left, why? because you get tired of it and you are a women there is no reason for you to sit there and go through it....i mean im not judging you because i went through something similar but without the baby....so well if you want to talk more plz msg me if you are not confident to talk about it through posts..i understand..
    anayasmommy21

    Answer by anayasmommy21 at 12:55 AM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • If you're really serious about leaving, contact Catholic Charities. You do not need to be catholic in order for them to help you, nor will they preach to you. I am not even religious, but if I was between a rock and a hard place and truly needed help, they'd be the first people I would call.

    They can help with everything from food to shelter to money for bills.

    www.catholiccharitiesusa.org

    http://www.catholiccharitiesusa.org/NetCommunity/Page.aspx?pid=2059

    General Inquiries: info@catholiccharitiesusa.org
    Razelda

    Answer by Razelda at 12:55 AM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • These are some of the things they do for women :

    * Emergency and transitional shelters for homeless women and their children provide much more than a roof over a family’s head. These shelters strive to improve families’ self-sufficiency and economic conditions by providing case management, tutoring, parenting classes, and life skills and job training.
    * Permanent housing facilities for homeless and chronically homeless women serve women with multiple barriers and provide varying amounts of financial support while women acquire income to maintain housing on their own.
    Razelda

    Answer by Razelda at 12:55 AM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • Good luck OP. If you choose to call them, you CAN escape this life and provide a better one for your child while getting yourself on the right track physically and mentally. =)
    Razelda

    Answer by Razelda at 12:56 AM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • have to admit it was hard to walk away but i give myself alot of credit for have doing so because i thought because i loved him still it would be extremely hard in fact it wasnt because i was single and i was getting all the verbal abuse and what not..it felt good to beable to walk with my head up and not geting bashed ny him all the time...so iam more than sure u will and can do the same dont be afraid do whats best for you and your child.....your child needs and counts on you everyday of there life....
    anayasmommy21

    Answer by anayasmommy21 at 1:00 AM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • Oh my goodness! I'm sorry you're going through this! First off... you won't be able to "get over him" while you're still living with him. You need to get away from a man like this, and stay firm. He is going to apologize and tell you that he is sorry and he will change for you and your child....but if you go back, he will make it impossible for you to get away again, and the abuse will get worse.
    Since the shelters are full, do you attend a place of worship where maybe someone can help you get out? It's best to go to someone's house that your man doesn't know about, otherwise he may show up to get you back. I have lots of other ideas... send me a message, ok? God bless you....
    brandyj

    Answer by brandyj at 1:01 AM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • I've been in a couple relationships with people who were emotionally and physically abusive and it took me a long time to realize that I don't deserve it and either do you! I remember all of my friend being mad at me for staying with them and when it got to the point that they told me to decide between having them as friends or having someone who DOESN'T LOVE ME (because if they will hurt you then it isn't love!) I realized that I didn't have to be with someone who makes me feel anything less than special! I recently broke up with someone who never abused me in any way..just didn't make me feel special enough. It takes a while to get there but you need to be strong and realize that there are plenty of guys out there that would treat you like GOLD and you are staying with someone who doesn't care if you are hurting! Such a sad thought, don't you want to show your child how they should be treated? and how to treat people?
    dbodani

    Answer by dbodani at 1:00 AM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • Plus the feeling you get when you realize how much you are worth, the first time you do things for yourself and for your child, and being on your own and doing it without someone who SUCKKS is the best feeling ever! I think you can do it! Takes time and energy and sooo much heart ache but when all is said and done it will be the best feeling ever!
    dbodani

    Answer by dbodani at 1:01 AM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • I am not going to try to give you any advice, because you are the only one who can make the decision to leave, and you will make that decision when you are ready no matter how much advice others try to give you. In your heart you know what the right thing to do is but in your mind there is something you still want to hold on to. I hope that you will get the strength to over come the attachment and do what is best for you and your child. Every woman deserves to to be treated with love and respect and there is some one who will treat you better, wouldn't you rather love some one who appreciates having your love than some one who doesn't? Please sit and think about things, you can give yourself better advice then anyone else because you are the only one that knows how you feel and what you want.
    kayaiden8907

    Answer by kayaiden8907 at 1:08 AM on Apr. 3, 2011

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