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How bad is it when the boy I babysit calls me Momma??!

Hi. I watch 3yr old boy. I've been caring for him since 15mo's.
The mom is a FT student, & works 3rd shift on weekends.
I watch the boy when her mom is unable to.
I stay the night @ her house on weekends so in the morning I wake up with him allowing her to sleep cause he gets up at 7 or 8am.
I wake him up, feed him, change him, help potty train him, brush his teeth, etc.
He's learning his alphabet, numbers, etc.
We go for walks, to the park, library etc.
I spend a lot of time with him, 2 weeks ago he called me momma twice in front of his own mother I was shocked. So I scolded him never to call me that again and she did nothing, she acted like he was playing. I know he's starving for attention from her. last week he threw himself @ her. She was leaving for work, he was begging her to take him with. I had to pry him away from her, he was kicking & screaming while I was carrying him.
Does anyone have any comments?

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gg_fan1986

Asked by gg_fan1986 at 1:58 AM on Apr. 3, 2011 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 2 (4 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • That is so sad :( I feel so sorry for him but it doesn't seem like from what you said that the mother is intentionally neglecting to spend time with her son. It sounds like she is trying to make a better life for him, is she is a single mom then it is very difficult. Maybe you should sit down an talk to her and tell her that you have noticed that he is really wanting attention from her, in a polite way, and suggest she try to spend more time with him. She may be so caught up in trying to get their lives together that she isn't thinking clearly about his needs right now.
    kayaiden8907

    Answer by kayaiden8907 at 2:03 AM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • Please don't scold him when he calls you momma. Simply say what your name is to him and say momma is at work or going to work. He has enough stress in his life that he doesn't need to be scolded for that. I am glad you are there for him.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 2:19 AM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • It is very sad.
    She is a single mom, she refuses to get married.
    She works, & goes to school.
    One part that I left out though because of space is another reason why I wake up with him.
    She sleeps until 12pm or so because she comes home from work @ like 3,4,5 am some around in there drunker than ever.
    I don't think she is thinking clearly about his needs. I know she's trying to provide a better life but, she needs to include her son. I and her friends worry about her. She's drinking heavy, she's working a lot, and sometimes it looks like she's losing sight of the fact she has a little boy @ home who needs her. She goes on vacation & he gets left with sitters.
    I have talked to her about it, she doesn't see any problem & says she spends time with him.
    When she's home with him, she lets him on you tube to keep him occupied but, While she's with her boyfriend. that's not what he wants. He wants quality time with her.
    gg_fan1986

    Comment by gg_fan1986 (original poster) at 2:37 AM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • That is so sad. Your added comments are so telling of her poor mothering. He is going to need all of you concerned friends his whole life. She is teaching him that moms/parents don't care. And he will internalize this and be like that to his kids. Hopefully with your help and other friends' help he will learn what real caring is. God bless.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 7:48 AM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • i have watched my niece everyday monday thru friday since she was six weeks old and she will be two next month and she has called me mommy so many times. all u can do u correct the child and hope for the best
    mommie_of02

    Answer by mommie_of02 at 8:00 AM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • At this age mamma is more of a universal word for a female care giver. Kids in my datcare do it and I just remind them that my is Kris. It is sad that she is not able to spend more time with him but in the end it sounds like she is doing want is best for her familys future.
    Graciesmom528

    Answer by Graciesmom528 at 12:12 PM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • I watched a little boy for a few mos. last summer and he was 4 and he called me mommy a couple of times. His mom is VERY involved and I know it had nothing to do with her lack of involvement. He just sees his older brothers (15 and 18) calling me momma (and my husband pops) and he did it too. I have been friends with his mom for almost 2 years and I was his caregiver and he saw me in a mom role.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:40 PM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • That is so sad!!! The fact that she doesn't even care that her own child calls someone else Mommy, speaks volumes about her crappy mothering skills. People shouldn't have children if they aren't going to raise them.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:55 PM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • Its not bad. All my friends kids and even my son have gone through phases where the important women in their life are called momma. My friends kids have all called me momma around 2-3 and my son is going through it right now calling my mom, my aunt, my MIL, and a couple SILs momma. I am a SAHM so its not like he is never around me, its just a phase they go through and you should feel flattered that he thinks of you as such.
    Mipsy

    Answer by Mipsy at 2:42 PM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • My nephew calls his mom Mommy and his Grandmother Mama... I agree with the other ladies, I would say, gently, No, no, I'm ____. And if there is a picture of his mom bring it to him and say, Momma, see? Momma? Maybe a new fun nick name for you would be cool to introduce. Sounds like she is just trying to get her life together to take care of him. And he's lucky to have you...
    Pamarita

    Answer by Pamarita at 10:41 PM on Apr. 3, 2011

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