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2 Bumps

Ex * vs * new

My ex (the father of my children) doesnt like my new boyfriend... the new boyfriend is an amazing guy! Josh (the ex) wont even talk to Chris (the new) about anything... not even simple... hey hows it goin? we have been together for a year and a half... The ex doesnt want chris to be involved in anything that happends with our children... Chris is actually more involved in the kids lives then there own dad is... what can i do to make things peaceful for everyone.. and to make the ex realize that chris isnt out to take over as being "daddy"

Answer Question
 
dfwhite

Asked by dfwhite at 2:08 AM on Apr. 3, 2011 in Relationships

Level 14 (1,702 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • I don't think there is anything you can do about it, your ex will hopefully eventually get over it, but it's his feelings and unfortunately we can't make someone feel a certain way. You can try to reason and talk to him but until he gets over whatever it is that is making him feel this way then you just have to work around it. I know it makes things harder. I really dislike my son's fathers girlfriend and they have been dating for years, and no matter what I don't think I will ever accept her, I just flat out don't like her and he may feel the same way about your bf.
    kayaiden8907

    Answer by kayaiden8907 at 2:13 AM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • I agree with kayaiden, sometimes there's nothing you can do. Ex's and currents is always a fishy situation, especially when there's kids involved.
    GomezMami2908

    Answer by GomezMami2908 at 2:16 AM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • He could be not welcoming to your new guy because of the amount of time he gets to spend with your children, or it could be any number of things. I think when you are co-parenting and new significant others come into the picture it's hardly ever an easy quick buy in from the ex.
    LoveBuggsMommie

    Answer by LoveBuggsMommie at 2:25 AM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • Not to scare you, but my DH's ex doesn't like me, never has, and we've been together for 5.5 years. There's no reason for her not to like me. I've been nothing but great to my "bonus" daughter, but she was/is hurt that DH moved on. She also doesn't like that I'm the mother figure in our home (we have 3 bios together, so even though I'm not her mom, I do all the mom stuff).
    laird6372

    Answer by laird6372 at 4:42 AM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • You might not ever be able to get your ex to accept your current. My ex is going to find out on Thursday that I am seeing someone seriously. I know he's not going to like it at all. The difference in my situation is that my ex walked away from my kids completely about 5 years ago. We're going to be seeing him at a contempt hearing b/c he doesn't pay child support. I have no intention of trying to make peace between them. My SO knows that I expect him to be mature, be the better man. My ex will simply be told that my SO is a very big part of my life, I love him very much, my kids love him, and like it or not, he's not leaving. My ex will not have the option to make a big deal out of it, b/c I just won't listen. I wouldn't worry about making peace between them; I'd just remind him/them (whichever is required) that they need to do what is best for the kids.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 8:34 AM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • My ex doesn't like my "new" (been living together 3 years), and although my "new" is raising his son and knows all the crappy things he's done to us, he will politely greet him if he sees him. Ex will not give "new" the same courtesy. Oh well. I don't exactly want to be friends with my ex or his new wife; we only have to talk about our son and I'd discuss anything with my "new" first anyway because he is more involved with my son.
    ohbladi

    Answer by ohbladi at 12:48 PM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • Coming from the new woman, there's nothing you can do. Your ex will have to accept it one day...hopefully. DH's hates that we're together, and that he's happy with me. She used to send me Myspace messages about how he tells her they're gonna work it our and shit...nothing with an ounce of truth to it. IMHO, your ex and new guy SHOULDN'T be communicating. I tried that with BM, and it was only pleasant for awhile. Tell the new guy to just stay in the background, and work with YOU. I'm helping my husband with his custody battle, but I no longer deal directly with BM. There's nothing you can say to your ex...he has to deal with it on his own. I would talk to him about being civil if the kids are around, but don't expect them to be friends. Ever.
    JustCantWait88

    Answer by JustCantWait88 at 4:45 PM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • First of all when its over between you too both of you knew that life goes on and eventually new partners are going to be in your life. So with that your ex just needs to grow up and just accept that you have moved on. Iam snot saying that they need to be bf but at least civil for the kids. He is not thinking of his children happiness and wellfare.
    beenie21

    Answer by beenie21 at 6:06 PM on Apr. 3, 2011

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