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How to help my stepson

ok my stepson is with a girl who is on drugs and got him hooked on drugs they also just had a baby less than a yr ago and him and his girlfriend go out boosting (stealing) to support their habbit my husband and i have told him he can come live with us if he realy wants to clean up but he has to leave his girlfriend and if hes worried about his son we would help him file for custody but he told us hes not ready to get off drugs so we refuse to help him when he calls and askes for money we are at a loss we dont know what else to do i love him as if he was my own son i just wish i could snap my fingers and fix all this but i cant so any advice would help thank you

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christinaj1979

Asked by christinaj1979 at 2:10 AM on Apr. 3, 2011 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 6 (132 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • honestly there is nothing you can do till he wants help. He has to want it or else it will not work. im sorry you are dealing with this. All you can do is remind him you love him and when he is ready to get help you will be there . IMO he will need the help of professionals to get clean and will have a better chance of getting clean if he goes to a in-patient rehab. its very hard to watch someone self destruct and not be able to help
    mom057

    Answer by mom057 at 2:53 AM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • I agree with mom057. If you give him money you are enabling him to continue his lifestyle. Some families do an intervention but you would have to have professional rehab set up for him.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 10:06 AM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • You are doing the only thing you can do for him. You've made it clear that when he's ready to get clean, you're there for him. But until he's willing to admit his problem, and wants to get off drugs, you cannot do anything for him.

    What about the baby? Where is he or she?
    sweetpotato418

    Answer by sweetpotato418 at 2:14 PM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • him and his girlfriend have the baby the mother dosent like us so we have never seen the baby she keeps him away from all his family he only comes by when shes not around and with out her knowing
    christinaj1979

    Comment by christinaj1979 (original poster) at 12:56 AM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • The best thing you can do for them both is to make sure the baby is not cared for by them. I didn't read all the answers but this seems imperative to me. I would call CPS, tell them your concerns. If they love the baby, they will get cleaned up and then you all can go on with your relationships. But if they cannot clean up, at least you know you have done the right thing for this younger generation.
    lilangilyn

    Answer by lilangilyn at 8:56 PM on Apr. 4, 2011

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