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My 17 year old Step Son Assaulted his dad, And now we have a Court hearing to go to soon. adult content

My Step son who is 17, Assaulted his dad. And the cops were called. The cops pressed charges, And now we have a hearing to go to soon. My Question is this, At the Hearing what should we do. Should we say we want him to be easier on him because it was the first time that he has been in trouble. But the 4th time he has beat on his dad. Or do we just let the court do what it dose, And sit firm by it.

In my heart, I know that he has to learn. He has caused a lot of heart ache in my home. My two younger kids were very afraid of him. And they were acting out bad. Now that he is no longer in my home, The two younger ones are starting to act the way the did before. Witch is great. He has hit me, And tried pushing me down steps. He hit on my two kids. He even would hit the dogs. It was like living in hell. He refused to talk to a consular and he also refused to even try and get help for his anger. So what should I do. I'm lost. And feel like I am just un sure about everything at this point.

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MOMofTwo_99_00

Asked by MOMofTwo_99_00 at 2:48 AM on Apr. 3, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Level 6 (137 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • wow i work with kids like your stepson everyday, i would say you can talk to the lawyer there and ask them to order counseling and psychiatric services. his behavior is extremely in appropriate believe me if professionals were involved they would have already 5150'd him for being a danger to others. Protect urself and your family at the same time ur protecting him from himself too. good luck
    mom057

    Answer by mom057 at 3:00 AM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • Thank you . I just feel so lost. I really just needed to hear that there is something out there to help him. I love him and I have raised him since he was two. So he is my son. I just feel like I wish I could of done something.... Something to have stopped him from being like this. I wish there was something else I could of done before it came to this... You know.
    MOMofTwo_99_00

    Comment by MOMofTwo_99_00 (original poster) at 3:05 AM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • long ago my son hit me and yes i called the cops they wanted me not charge him ,yes it was his first time ever with the law
    but i need him to learn that he can not go around hit his parents ,the judge could not belive that he had done this to his mother
    he thanks me ever day the day he was in jail taught him something important to honour your parents,your son needs to grow up and not to hit his dad ,or anyone else for that matter,yes we can piss our kids off they do same to us ,but we love them no matter what ,just be there for him and get him help he needs to talk about his anger why he hates his dad so much that he needs to hit him
    dutchcanadain

    Answer by dutchcanadain at 3:20 AM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • Babes it was the first time getting in trouble with the law but it wasn't the first time he's been violent.  I know it's hard but I would let what the courts decided ride.  I would also make sure to put in that this wasn't the first time, if they don't know already.  Don't beat yourself up over it!  And ask if he can get into counceling.

    MrsHouston47302

    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 3:30 AM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • wow...he would have been out of my house a long time ago, either he gets out or i get out with my kids. there is no way i would have this maniac around my younger kids period. even if i raised him, he is not my child, and i would definitely have put the welfare of my other kids 1st. allowing him to hit your 2 kids in the past and not reporting it was irresponsible on your part/ your hubby too might i add. i would have this menace punished and prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law!!!! i think you should have been more proactive in protecting your babies from him because that is what good parents do.
    gwen20

    Answer by gwen20 at 5:29 AM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • It is the fourth time that he has assaulted his father and he is not in treatment?
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:52 AM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • You need to ask the judge for court ordered anger management. As for hitting you children and animals? That kid needs therepy. This is clear scientific evidence that people who abuse younger children and animals go on to commit more heinous acts, like murder and rape. Check out this link and see that he gets the help he needs.

    http://www.navs.org/site/PageServer?pagename=ain_edu_link_violence_cruelty
    KateShesGreat3

    Answer by KateShesGreat3 at 10:01 AM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • You have to let the courts do what they decide is the best course of action. You may not even have an opportunity to speak at the hearing. At his age, he can be charged as an adult, if that is what the courts decide to do. Hopefully, the judge will see that this kid needs therapy and not jail time. He should have NEVER been allowed to assult his father for the 4th time.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 9:33 PM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • He's nearly an adult and is not making good choices. This isn't his first offense with you and your dh. Not only do you let the courts do what they need to, but you press charges, ask for court ordered counseling, and whatever else the court can give your son. No way would I ask for the courts to go easy on him. Son or not, he needs help and the message needs to be he can't act like this, or EVER do this to you or anybody else on the planet. The message needs to be firm and unquestioning.
    Sonnut

    Answer by Sonnut at 7:38 AM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • If your worried about him having a criminal record there isn't much you can do. He has been acting out and while the courts can Try to force counseling on him it may not really help anything. I would get a restraining order on him and have him re-evaluated in a years time pending on how the counseling goes. There is no win to this situation. You have to protect your family. Make sure he knows your not abandoning him, but that he is old enough to learn that there are consequences to his actions. If counseling and meds don't do anything for him now just imagine how he might act when he starts his own family. Make sure he knows that you love him and that your doing it instead of putting him in jail. Good luck...
    blainesgirl

    Answer by blainesgirl at 2:55 PM on Apr. 4, 2011

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