I just got married to a wonderful man, that has full custody of his young daughter. The mother has her every other weekend, and phone time. At first, when we were dating, the mother started things here and there, mainly she told the child (who is way to young to understand) that she was kicked out, and her daddy wouldn't let her come back. Had this been true, that would be one thing, but, its far from it. She left him, and never asked to come back. In the begining, while we were just seeing each other, we choose not to involve her. I was around the daughter but, until we married, there were never any over night stays, most of my interaction with her was trips to the park and together diners. He choose not to involve her in our relationship unless we were sure that we were going to work and out of respect for the mother not to put our relationship in her face, like she did with her relationship with her boyfriend. Of course those, she questioned the child when she had her, and got second hand information from around town. Once she found out she tried her best to make things hard for us, until she fell on hard times and needed help from his family.
Since then Her and I pretty much course and re-course. I get along with her out of respect for the child, and I feel that its what is best. Most of the time we have no issues, she seems to be involved in her own life, until this last month. She has been unable to meet us half way for her visitation, and the child's birthday was on her weekend. We took her to her, with the deal we got her back when we wanted her back, for our party for her. When went to get her, and apparently, according to her, the child told her that she was spanked for lying by the grandparents and us. Now, this honestly never happened. When I was told, I got confused. We normally use the corner or take toys away. The grandparents do the same. When we talked to the child, she explained to us that she was pressured into answering that way. Apparently, she is trying to get the child to tell her things that aren't true. She is also filling her head with lies. She told her not to listen to me, because I'm just her step mom and she doesn't have to do anything I say. She tries to get her to keep secerts about her well being while she is with her.
Also, another problem is that when she visits her, there is smoking in the house. Everytime she comes back, she needs breathing treatments, and her medicine that when send comes back full. She comes back starving for food and attention. Before we send her, she cries not to go.
I'm not sure what I can do to protect her. She feels like my own child, and I am worried about her every minute she is gone. What should I do?
Answer by shivasgirl at 5:22 AM on Apr. 3, 2011
Answer by Twinminator at 6:07 AM on Apr. 3, 2011
Answer by louise2 at 7:33 AM on Apr. 3, 2011
Answer by layh41407 at 7:59 AM on Apr. 3, 2011
Answer by gemgem at 8:26 AM on Apr. 3, 2011
Answer by layh41407 at 8:51 AM on Apr. 3, 2011
Answer by gemgem at 8:55 AM on Apr. 3, 2011
Answer by LoveBuggsMommie at 8:59 AM on Apr. 3, 2011
Answer by hotelmom123 at 3:24 PM on Apr. 4, 2011