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How do you feel about taking or not taking your husband's last name?

My last name is British just like the rest of my names. It is popular so everyone knows it. My first name is weird and nobody can spell it right. So for logical reasons I like my name. Hubby says if I really loved him I would take his hideous italian hard to spell impossible to pronounce last name.

The court clerk told us that while it is rare a husband can take his wife's name instead. Being Italian he does not understand this concept at all. I find that funny because in some parts of Italy what I am doing is the norm.

I love him. It has nothing to do with his name not being my name. It does bring up issues with our kid's names weather they get mines or his. I would like the girls to take my name. This is also a tradition in some parts of Italy. It is just a frustrating situation with the whole name thing.


Asked by nycte at 1:11 PM on Nov. 29, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (12)
  • I feel for ya. My situation is not entirely the same but I have been single for sooo long that I like my name the way it is. Also, my father passed away 5 years ago and took his name with him so it is even a pride thing with me, too. Well, I know that BF and I will eventually be married (we even talked about it at Thanksgiving) and I am so hesitant to take his last name!! Plus, I am pregnant and I want our baby to have MY last name. I am thinking of putting it that when and if we DO get married, that we can change names then. I don't know what to do at this point. Good luck to you, though!!

    Answer by MammaMia72 at 1:15 PM on Nov. 29, 2008

  • LOL, I think Italian names are some of the easiest to pronounce but that's because I'm Italian and can speak the language!

    I, too, have an unusual name and I absolutely love it, though my married name fits better with my first name than my birth name does.

    As far as taking your spouse's name, this is usually the easiest option, especially once kids come into the picture. Many modern women choose to hyphenate, which can be a pain in the rear as well. It has nothing to do with love, as your spouse says . . . if it did, why would he object to taking yours then? I'm sure you'll figure out what's best for you and your family.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:18 PM on Nov. 29, 2008

  • My boyfriends name is so much easier to pronounce than mine but if we were to get married I'd probably take his name even though I've thought about just keeping mine. It's a part of me and who I am so why would I want to get rid of it? I've even though about hyphenating it but they don't go right together lol. My boyfriend on the other hand hates his last name because it was his father's last name and he doesn't get along with him at all. He's talked about making up a whole new last name and switching both our names and giving it to our kids. I think that's way too much though!

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:09 PM on Nov. 29, 2008

  • People call me by my married name and i use my married name for certain things but legally i still am my maiden name.
    i have gotten jobs and and such using my married name even though my SScard says a different last name. only thing is during tax season i use my maiden name. i will also use both last names on certain things. i will nave fully take my husbands last name and we have been married for over 5 years.

    Answer by chyna_doll at 2:21 PM on Nov. 29, 2008

  • keep yours and add his.. i was honored to take my hubbys last name... but that way you both win..

    ex. incase you dont know... amanda lynn maiden-newname then give the kids his last name..

    Answer by krazyash023 at 3:53 PM on Nov. 29, 2008

  • whatever works for you, what you feel best with, is the way to go. I didn't take my DH's name because I had not only already gone back to my maiden name (which i've always preferred, anyway), but he isn't my first hubby and I'd already changed it a few times. i decided i was done changing it.

    Answer by moniquesand at 7:24 PM on Nov. 29, 2008

  • You know..I really do miss my maiden name. I have been married for 12 years, but my maiden name was so unusual and I was proud of its ethnicity. My husband isn't generally hung up on tradition, but go figure that it was important for him that I take his name.


    Answer by happymom612 at 8:30 PM on Nov. 29, 2008

  • I was not going to change my last name and never even considered it. I kept it for over a year and I ran into a legal situation. My husband ended up in the hospital and they told me since I wasn't his wife I could not make decisions. I brought them the marriage certificate and everything, they still didn't care. Long story short, It was a nightmare and there were a few other situations we ran into. I gave up and changed my last name to his.

    Answer by JD08 at 9:02 PM on Nov. 29, 2008

  • Can you hyphenate it? I was so excited to take my husbands last name so I'm not in the same situation. I was one of those girls that always doodles Mrs. So and so so and so in school. LOL Not to mention my husbands last name is a lot easier than my maiden name and I like the way it flows.

    Answer by munch12502 at 9:16 PM on Nov. 29, 2008

  • I would def. take my husbands last name! I wouldn't think twice.

    Answer by abootie at 11:50 PM on Nov. 29, 2008