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How do you handle this kind of issue?


My dd is 12 had 2 sleep overs this weekend, (no school on Friday), a movie and mall fun time. She had a basketball clinic from 4:30-9 pm with pizza and extras. They showed a movie after that so she didn't get home till around 11. It's been hard to 'keep HER plates in the air' esp w/being sick!!My husband has been the TAXIER (is that a term?) lol This kid has had 4 whirlwind weekends in a row busy all the time. I love it (living vicariously through her) ha! Today church and a soccer game right after that. I wish I still had that kind of energy!!! She is gouchier than heck this morning and got real... sassy so I called off taking her to Sunday school. Do you call things off if your kids get disrespectful? Do you think kids can get TOO busy with activities?


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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:44 AM on Apr. 3, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (10)
  • We made a rule early on that the kids can only have ONE sleep over a weekend.
    Yes, things get canceled if kids are disrespectful.
    Yes, kids can get over scheduled.... even with things that are not pure "fun"... it is a balancing act.

    As far as the taxing... welcome to the teen years. Friday night I dropped #3 off at 5:30, drove #2 to practice at 6 had to hang out until 7:30, picked up #3 at 9:30, and then pick up #1 at 10.... THEN I got to start my evening.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:49 AM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • Kids are overscheduled.
    pookiekins34

    Answer by pookiekins34 at 10:50 AM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • I absolutely think kids get too busy with activities. Then when life gets still they are "bored" or worse get depressed b/c nothing is going on.

    Not only that, you are teaching her that you and dh revolve around her life schedule. Of course she is grouchy, she is probably tired! What do you expect! Then to punish her b/c she is being disprespectful when you as the parent didnt give her the tools to be "good"

    Dont get me wrong, I am all for punishment for disrespect, but I sort of feel like you put her in the situation to be that way. If she was well rested then I would jump all over her for the disrespect, but where do YOUR actions play in to her behavior? She is after all only 12.

    Time for kids to learn LEARN how to just BE happy with nothing from time to time. No carnival everyday to entertain them.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:51 AM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • Yep! My oldest is only 5, but she will get too busy with things or just have a bout of sassiness in general, and I will be darned if I'm going to let her go broadcast her naughtiness to the general public.

    Today is the wrong day to ask, though, LOL. Tonight my MIL asked to pick our girls up for dinner and maybe to see Hop, but unless I see a MAJOR attitude improvement after her nap, my oldest will NOT be going. She has done nothing this morning but ignore me and talk back. A trip to grandmas would just be a reward.
    Mom-2-3-Girlz

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 10:54 AM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • No I dont believe kids can be too busy. I have 5 and always kept them busy. I noticed with parents who were all oh dont over schedule your kids, it was their kids who ended up in some sort of trouble by the time they were teenagers. I am not perfect, neither are my kids, but my dd whose 22 now thanks me for keeping her busy and plans to do the same with her children. She said until she quit all the activities I had her in she never thought much about boys, or any of that. She was so into her sports, friends, grades etc that she didnt have the time. It was only after she turned 16, got a job, and stopped that she found herself in any trouble.
    My son is always on the go to, but hes 17. He has his own license now thank goodness. I just have to taxi two now. We do little league, gymnastics, dance, and cheer.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 10:56 AM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • I totally agree that kids are overscheduled. Why do we set our kids up at way too early of an age to be like little stressed out adults. Life is too short! SLOW DOWN. There's no way in *beep* I'd run that much. I have a 15yo, 17yo, and 15mo old. If either of my girls get smart,...uh yeah they're restricted. My one will be 18 in 2 weeks. She was 5 min late on her curfew last night. She won't go anywhere next weekend unless it's with us. Good luck to you
    RentaMom

    Answer by RentaMom at 10:56 AM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • We also made a rule early on that there could be no more than one sleepover per weekend, and it could only be on Friday night. I think if my child doesn't have at least one day each week to spend with just the immediate family, then they have too many activities or too much social life. I think it's important to limit activities and social events if they are crowding out family bonding time, or if it's too much and the kids are getting grouchy or disrespectful.

    TweenAndTwinMom

    Answer by TweenAndTwinMom at 10:59 AM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • I do believe too much isnt healthy, but i totally agree with what another mother previously stated, that keeping them busy does keep them out of trouble. But your daughter is unique! Get a feel for what she can handle, and ask her periodically how shes feeling. :) Good luck!
    AdrianzMommie

    Answer by AdrianzMommie at 11:20 AM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • what is with the vote downs on this post??????
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:52 AM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • Everything in moderation.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 11:53 AM on Apr. 3, 2011

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