Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What do you do...? adult content

my sister needed a place to stay (she's staying here with the notion) she's supposed to be helping me with my kids when i need but all she does is eat, sleep, and work and bitches about everything...my youngest is currently sick and she only seems to tick my oldest off because she treats him like he's a monster... and when she is helping me she does everything half way...im getting highly agitated and to my boiling point...what do i do? how do i tell her to get her act together?
any ideas for this momma who's hitting her boiling point

 
proudmommy_0811

Asked by proudmommy_0811 at 12:54 PM on Apr. 3, 2011 in Relationships

Level 14 (1,670 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • I agree with admckenzie. Show her how you want everything done, and TELL her EXACTLY what you want her to do, and when. It's really hard to live together as adults- I know, I've been there on both sides(as the person mooching lol and as the person offering the place)- and things are easily taken the wrong way and confusing for both sides. Just come right out and tell her exactly how things should be, and maybe she'll start doing them right and treating your kids better.
    lovingmy4babies

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 1:49 PM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • be honest, sit down like an adult and talk to her.
    zoejains_momma

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 12:55 PM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • Go about it in a positive way. If she feels like you're attacking her she'll probably just become defensive. Let her know exactly what you need from her and what will happen if she doesn't do her share. Good luck!!!

    skittles1108

    Answer by skittles1108 at 12:58 PM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • Sit her down and get it off your chest.

    "I love you and I am glad you are here. I need you to know that I am spread very thin with taking care of the house and kids . . . I don't have room for any more conflict, work, or anything else. I am pleading with you to (insert what you need) in order to save me from imploding. I f we can't work something out, then we will have to start deciding what is going to give."

    That way, you are being loving and giving her a good solid chance to change her behavior. If she doesn't, it would be her choice, and she knows what will be coming.
    ImaginationMama

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 1:00 PM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • Teach her how you want things done. Obviously no one has taught her to be a responsible adult
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:05 PM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • Hugs mama . . . it sounds like your "giving well" has been tapped. I hope that your sister is able to step up to the plate.
    ImaginationMama

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 1:13 PM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • when she moved in we told her my hubby and me told her she was gonna have to help cause we aren't just taking care of our kids we are taking care of his grandfather too so between to kids and an elderly man and a house im treading on no sleep and running off nothing but love from my family and friends but when she wines and complains about not going out cause i don't have gas and she only gives me enough to get her to and from work she gets mad we (my hubby) has already talked to her once and she just ignored him i don't know how much more i can take before i lose it i warned my mother that if shit didn't get done she wasn't gonna last since she went threw my mother to ask us in the first place .... i just need some support here and some good advice and you momma's have given great advice i allow her to use my hubby's laptop to look for a job and she plays games i just don't get it
    proudmommy_0811

    Comment by proudmommy_0811 (original poster) at 1:04 PM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • i have tried to teach her but she say's my way's don't work...on days she doesn't work she sleep's until then 9-10am then goes for a smoke outside so it's not around my kids cause i don't want in near them...she doesn't do much after that besides wining and staying in her room and asking random questions... my giving well i've done so many times and def. got burnt in the end and tread my water carefully but i try to help my family but then again i suffer in the end its just not fair... imma try and write something up and make like a daily routine kinda thing so that she can get used to what's done here... does that sound fair?
    proudmommy_0811

    Comment by proudmommy_0811 (original poster) at 1:17 PM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • Sounds like she has a serious case of not wanting to grow up. It might have to come down to kicking her out she she has to deal with all her own crap on her own. It sounds cruel, but it worked for me. Can you work her out a savings plan so she can get her own apt or something? get together the down for the apt and move her out.
    Audrice1985

    Answer by Audrice1985 at 1:48 PM on Apr. 3, 2011

close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN