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2 Bumps

How can I stop the pain?

I made the worst decision of my life when I terminated my pregnancy 3 years ago. Every year around the expected due date and termination date I become so incredibly depressed, I cant stop crying, I don't want to talk to anyone and I hate myself even more than I do on an average day. I'll never forgive myself for what I did. I've always been against terminating pregnancies and I did...I second guessed it last minute and should have followed my gut. My baby would have been two around now and I look at my older kids and ask myself who the hell was I to choose who lived and who died? I hate myself....and I probably always will I just want to know how can I get myself together for my kids..I'm home with them today and I don't want them to see me like this.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:52 PM on Apr. 3, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (7)
  • I am further away from mine than you so I have had more time to deal with it. It is one of the biggest regrets of my life. You need to forgive yourself, which I know takes time. We learn from our mistakes and realize we have other children who need a whole mother. A book that helped me is What Happy Women Know. Your library should have it. I hope it helps a little. hug

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:59 PM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • I'm so sorry. I really don't have anything to offer, besides the cliche saying that it will eventually heal. I hope you forgive yourself one day, and are able to move on. ::hugs::
    JustCantWait88

    Answer by JustCantWait88 at 4:00 PM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • Try to find a support group. Someone to talk to who is in your shoes helps with EVERYTHING! GL

    Audrice1985

    Answer by Audrice1985 at 4:10 PM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • I agree with finding a support group. You also might want to talk to a doctor and see what they think, if you should go on meds or not. Good luck, Momma. I hope you get to feeling better soon.
    lovingmy4babies

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 4:22 PM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • Whatever your reasons for the termination, trust that is was the right thing to do at the time. Justcan'twait said to forgive yourself. She's right. The pain will lesssen over time, IF you can do this.
    Kimimale

    Answer by Kimimale at 4:45 PM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • do for others... around this time of year find some volunteer opportunities that you can take part in.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:47 PM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • What other posters have said is a very important step in healing....that is to forgive yourself. It will not be an easy thing to do. I think you also need to ask GOD for forgiveness if you havnt already. He is the ultimate healer. Becomig closer to GOD and building a relationship with him has really helped me deal with things ive done in the past. I have never terminated a pregnancy, but i have hurt myself in other ways. I read scripture almost everyday and go to church every Sunday. I think it would be helpful to talk with a support group or a support person. Just know that you are a daughter of GOD and he loves you no matter what.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:04 PM on Apr. 3, 2011

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