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Trouble tellling people what I think

For instance, when my mother-in-law is holding my baby and he starts crying. I always want to take him from her. The one time I tried, she turned around and would not let me have him. I felt like saying "He's my baby I am going to take him when he is upset!" But, I don't say that. I don't say anything and it makes me so mad at myself. For some reason I have such a hard time laying down the law when it comes to my in-laws! Anyone else have this problem?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:55 PM on Nov. 29, 2008 in Babies (0-12 months)

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • Being assertive is difficult for many women. You're not alone. But for your well-being and for the well-being of your children, it's time to start getting some practice. You may find it easier at first to practice on strangers. Ask someone for help at the grocery store, offer your opinion when strangers are chatting in line are the bank, things like that. When it comes to situations like you described with your MIL, let kindness help you along. Instead of letting it become a confrontation, simply smile and say, "Thanks for trying, but my mommy-hormones are telling me I NEED to hold my baby now." Then take the baby with a smile and a laugh. If she persists in over-stepping her bounds, all you have to do is restate your case a little more firmly (but you can still be nice about it). And use her name (if you call her by name, that is). Say, "Sally, thank you but I'd like to take my baby now."
    BlueFrogMama

    Answer by BlueFrogMama at 2:02 PM on Nov. 29, 2008

  • in-Laws can be tricky. First things first talk with hubby and agree on what boundaries you want to set. once you meet an agreement, agree that he is to back you up when these situations come up. after all they are his parents and he has known them longer. Any disagreements whether about parenting or not should come from him. They will have an easier time hearing there son say "Oh poor little guy sounds like her needs his mama." Rather that you saying as you thought"Give me my baby he's crying for Pete's sake!!" Or when other things come up , Him saying something like "No, mom we have decided not to do that with him because that's what the Pediatrician recommended" Rather that what you are gonna think, more like "You idiot that stopped doing that in the 70's" Make Hubby take the stand for you, once he opens the door you will be able to build on it when he's not there. You can do this!!!! Good luck. Keep us posted.
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 2:08 PM on Nov. 29, 2008

  • lol,yeah but i find something to say,like when my baby was a newborn( shes breastfeed so more wet dipars)but anyway they told me to let her sit in it and pee a few times,i said she has sentive skin and gets rashes easily,but she dont,u could try oh hes hungry or needs to be changed.
    angelairelan

    Answer by angelairelan at 2:44 PM on Nov. 29, 2008

  • Sorry to say but I have the same problem with my OWN mother and it sucks, fortunantly I have found that it's much easier to pretend to be sorry later, then be angry now. I think that when your baby starts to be upset that you should definantly use some of the advise laid out with the other posts.
    MamaRoberts

    Answer by MamaRoberts at 3:04 PM on Nov. 29, 2008

  • Get a backbone and tell them how you feel. That is your kid...Stand up for what you believe!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:14 PM on Nov. 29, 2008