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5 Bumps

How would you deal with sexist MIL?

First off we have to live her, we incurred major woodworm damage on our last house and financially we're completely dead so it's going to be a while before we can get back on our feet. Me and DH both work full time and don't ever stop it feels, I work 14 hours a day at two jobs and he works 12 hours a day at one. All to get out of her house as soon as possible. While we work she stays home with our kids and then picks the older two up from school. So I knew she was old fashioned but my boys (I have 2) have started being completely spoilt, they tell me that no way will they help me (they're older than their sisters) and that it's a girl's job to help in the house. They're acting like spoilt brats. I told them so, well I told them no that is not the right attitude and they told me 'women should not complain'. I am DISGUSTED. My husband laughed at it (he is not like that, god knows why) and when I confronted MIL she said if you don't like my house then move out. I don't know what to do. We've got nowhere else to go until our major house repairs are done. What can I do? I dislike my boy's attitudes so much and talking to them is doing no good since I'm not there enough.

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Asked by Anonymous at 6:25 PM on Apr. 3, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (3)
  • I would continue to talk to your boys and show them how your husband acts. Real men don't treat women like dirt. Also, I would not allow them to have that "won't help" attitude. You work a lot of hours (and I don't blame you a bit) and they can and should help out. I would take away privileges and fun things if they can't change their attitudes. If you ground them from something I would put it in the trunk of your car, otherwise your MIL will probably give it right back to them when you're gone. Good luck and keep saving. You might also look at renting just to get away from her. I know it's not what you want to do, but it might be better than having her warp your kids.


    Answer by scout_mom at 6:41 PM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • This is one time when your husband; their father, needs to stand up to his mother, & tell his sons that their attitude is WRONG! He then needs to speak to his mother & tell her to stop filling those boys' heads with untruths, stop spoilng them, & start respecting you & your husbands parenting rules. I gotta tell you though, my child would NEVER have gotten away with speaking to me the way you allowed your sons to speak to you. When I told her to do something, she did it. When I gave her chores to do she DID them, or she was punished for not doing them. I wasnt about to reward bad behavior by ignoring it or rewarding it. She lost privelages or she was grounded. If your MIL cant abide by your parenting rules, then she has no respect for you OR her own son. Do what you can to discipline your sons when you are home, and also have their dad let them see how he helps you as well.

    Answer by RubyinPA at 7:35 PM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • If she were not available, you would do something different. You have to decide what is most important and you have decided. You are using her and her home to financial advantage. It may be your children are paying the price. You should move at whatever the expense.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 5:44 AM on Apr. 4, 2011

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