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How to let my mother know that I appreciate her help but would like to be a mother to my own child?

I am 16 and my daughter is 5 months old today. I am sick and tired of not being able to mother my own child. I appreciate my mother and I realize that in doing this she is sacrificing a fair amount of her own time and that she should be enjoying life, but that's just the thing I want her too. During the day I go to school and in the evening I run a side business from home, just a small online shop, but it keeps me going enough to buy everything my daughter needs, my mother looks after he in the day and when I get home I want to sort my business, pack some parcels, and spend time with my daughter but I'm not allowed. My mother is always coming and picking her up and taking her or criticising what I am doing. In the middle of the night if my daughter is crying she will run into the room and pick her up if I don't get there quick enough. I just want to be a mother to my daughter. She screams at me for not having enough time for her when I am the one who is keeping us afloat, my mother included half the time, and when I brought the subject up she told me I was only 16 and there was no way I could do anything even half adequately. I've never been a typical teenager and I don't even have a single friend left to go out with, nor do I want one really, I'm happy with my daughter. It sounds silly but I miss her even though I live with her. Do you have any ideas? I'm close to moving out.

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Asked by Anonymous at 6:45 PM on Apr. 3, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (4)
  • I understand... but at 16, living in her home, having her babysit... your kind of stuck.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:46 PM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • Step take your baby from her and say I appreciate what you do but I will never learn if you keep coming to do it. Thank her and take over.

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 6:53 PM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • I don't really have advice for you hun.... Good for you for being so motivated! I think you just need to talk to your mother and be honest with her about you feel. GL!

    Answer by June_Mama09 at 6:54 PM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • you have to understand she has a special connection because it is her grand daughter and she spends all day with her on school days --- why does she get up in the middle of the night?? you should talk together and find times for her to let you be alone with dd, like after a certain hour. cosleeping could fix the night time competition...

    Answer by AmaliaD at 8:26 PM on Apr. 3, 2011

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