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Would you stay or go If your husband refused to stop smoking pot.

When we found out I was pregnant My views on allowing him to smoke pot changed. He still thinks its okay to smoke pot on occasion when we have a baby sitter and I disagree. I hate this about him. When we argue about it he compares it to drinking and says that it impairs you less than a few beers does and that I can't say that its right for an adult to drink a few beers but its wrong to smoke pot just because its illegal. We have everything we need, we both have good jobs he's going to school , so he points out that this isn't holding us back and I shouldn't care. We get along great for weeks and then we get a babysitter and thats the 1st thing he wants to do. I'm to my wits end with it and i've considered leaving him. I love him so much but I cant compromise with this. I knew about the habit before we were married and I loved him anyway and I still do. Am I blowing this out of proportion? Should I put up with it?


Asked by Anonymous at 2:35 PM on Nov. 29, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (19)
  • You knew this about him before you married should have taken into consideration that you two would have children and addressed it prior to the situation occurring. Just because you've changed your mind about something doesn't mean that he has to automatically follow suit. I'm not advocating smoking weed but honestly, you chose him as a weed smoker so I don't see how it's fair to just assume he's going to quit because you all of a sudden decide it's no longer ok.

    If he's not doing it around the child and he's not owning any or having it in the house, I'd say he's being a lot more responsible than most pot heads out there.

    Shoot if you think you'd be happier without him then leave. You don't need a bunch of people that don't know you to tell you what to do. Me thinks that you'd probably regret it if you left him over this...but thats just my opinion.

    Answer by munch12502 at 9:08 PM on Nov. 29, 2008

  • It's time for him to grow up. Think if for some reason the police or C.P.S. for some reason got involved and caught him with pot you guys would both be screwed!

    It's time for him to put his family first and kick the bad habbits

    Answer by krazyash023 at 2:43 PM on Nov. 29, 2008

  • (...and my answer is yes if he doesn't change i'd leave hiim)

    Answer by krazyash023 at 2:43 PM on Nov. 29, 2008

  • Smoking pot is illegal in all states. It is not like alcohol.. He could get you and him in serious trouble smoking it. I would get on him about having it and smoking it anywhere by the house. You have to think or not just you but your child. If he wont stop you might have to leave him.


    Answer by louise2 at 2:43 PM on Nov. 29, 2008

  • Honestly, I agree with your husband! I am the daughter of two alcoholic parents. I think alcohol should be illegal and pot should be legal! i don't smoke pot although I have tried it. But I have never seen or heard of a violent pot head! lol I assume it would possible impair your driving ability. But to me it is not near as bad as drinking alcohol and that is socially acceptable! I don't get it!

    Answer by amydh at 2:44 PM on Nov. 29, 2008

  • ummm my bf use 2 do it so i said its eithier me and ur baby or weed so he quit

    Answer by butterscotch297 at 2:44 PM on Nov. 29, 2008

  • Unfortunately he doesn't believe that anything like that can really happen to him. He doesn't ever do it at home. But i'm scared to death someday I will get a call from the jail to come pick him up. I've tried dealing with it in so many ways. Sadly he is about to let me walk out the door because of it. He refuses to choose. He can't believe that this (tiny to him) issue is worth leaving him. In every other aspect he is a great husband who does so much for me and our daughter. He has changed significantly over the past couple of years for the better but he won't let this go. I need something I can say to him to make him understand. I need him to see that its not just me who thinks this is wrong. Any ideas?

    Answer by Spears07 at 2:52 PM on Nov. 29, 2008

  • there was someone in our community that left their child with their mom (the babys grandmother) and she was high and ended up killing the baby. So yes it can be dangerous

    Answer by krazyash023 at 2:52 PM on Nov. 29, 2008

  • You knew this about him b4 the baby, right? I think you need to give him some time and resources that show him it is bad. It is illegal, has he considered what would happen if he were arrested buying, carrying, or whatever? The embarrassment, you would have child protective services involved, could lose your jobs, and spend tons of $ on legal fees. If you do this in a calm way, he my agree to cut back at first, and then quit. I can't guarantee it, but try to approach him when you aren't emotional.


    Answer by Teachermom01 at 2:53 PM on Nov. 29, 2008

  • if he was really that great of a husband he would see that it was HURTING YOU.... and tearing you apart inside and would want quit because of that. Try talking to a professional because obviously he isn't going to listen to you. =( I told my husband that i just didn't want beer in out house for our son to grow up in he didn't agree with it but he understood it bothered me and got rid of it. (and he isn't an alcoholic he just knew it bothered me)

    Answer by krazyash023 at 2:55 PM on Nov. 29, 2008