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2 Bumps

Do I give him custody?

Long story short, my husband and I divorced a year ago. We have joint 50/50 custody of our son and daughter. He has a good paying job, and is financially secure, I am not. I have had a hard time keeping this roof over my head. I want to go to school and finish my degree so I can get a better job and provide for my kids better. We tossed around the idea of him having temporary custody of the kids while I finish school, I would have them every other weekend, and afterwards, we would go back to 50/50. Does this sound insane? Could something like this work? What would you do?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:41 PM on Apr. 3, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (10)
  • why do you have to give up your custody while going to school? Or you mena they gonna live with him while you going to school and the afterwarts move back with you so you have enough time to study? Sound too much for me if its that way. How old ar ethe kids? Cause moving them around like that wouldnt be good. Was it your idea or his?

    Answer by LittleBirdFly at 11:48 PM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • I think you are AWESOME for thinking of the kids' needs (i.e. him being more financially stable). I think if you are going to do this, make SURE to put in that after you finish school, it will go back to 50/50 custody. Temporary orders can be, and usually are, turned into final orders, so you want to make sure that it's written in stone, even if the two of you get along well.

    Answer by laird6372 at 11:55 PM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • what LittleBirdFly said

    Answer by masonbunch at 11:56 PM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • like laird6372 said if you ever official do it that way make sur eits written in there that at such and such point it will be 50/50 again. Dont know the situation between you and him cause otherwise he could stay with full custody. But like I said before, moving the kids back and forth isnt the best idea withe and how long are we talking? months or a year or 2? They could get really attached to living with there father and not wanting to move back with you.

    Answer by LittleBirdFly at 12:01 AM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • Get it in writing with a lawyer. Because he could make it sound like u did not want the kids.

    Answer by dancer at 12:10 AM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • before making a decision you may want to look into financial aid for school and also housing options, you may be have more options if you keep the kids 50/50.

    Answer by LoveBuggsMommie at 12:13 AM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • I would be careful with this. Like the previous poster said, temporary arrangements more often than not turn into permanent arrangements. So you need to consider that he may have permanent full physical custody. Judges don't like to change things up on kids.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:14 AM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • Make it black and white agreement with the attorney. It can work..your situation will agree the second party.

    Answer by Sew-sun at 4:07 AM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • It's great if you and your EX can cooperate for what is in the best interest of your children. My only concern is that custody isn't something that is changed easily and if you give you custody and your EX feels that there has been a change in circumstance he could file to modify the custody agreement before you get out of school and since you gave up custody it'll be a big X against you. What would happen if your plans don't work out and school takes longer or you land a good job without finishing school. If you keep your new agreement with it going back to 50/50 when you finish school, what happens if you don't finish? There are just a lot of IF's that I wouldn't be willing to take. Does your EX pay you child support? You could keep the joint custody as it is, change the way you handle the visitation part and you could actually agree to forgo the CS. There are other options other than giving up custody. Good luck.

    Answer by Addie4 at 7:50 PM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • I dont understand why you wouldn't continue to share custody? Be careful because if you give him full custody he does not have to give it back. Also, if he has full custody he could make you pay child support.

    Answer by JLang at 3:19 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

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