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Custody (a bit long for back story)

My little niece has been through a lot in her life. She is a young 4. She is my brother's daughter, and while he's deployed my mother has his visitation schedule. It's all been agreed upon with lawyers, my mom and the parents, it's legal and on paper. Anyhow much of the first year of my niece's life she lived with her mother and my parents, and my brother was deployed. So my niece is as bonded to my mother as she would be to the second parent. My niece loves my mother, always lights up and runs to her (even when running into her in a public place). Anyhow the last time her mother dropped her off my niece threw a horrible tantrum, and the mother yelled at my mom telling her my niece doesn't have to go if she doesn't want to. Then told my mom "it's a phase...why don't you just take her another night," then yelled at her again about how my mom can't make my niece go with her and she's going to report her to child services. My mom felt horrible, and didn't want to force my niece, but figured if it's a phase then not to give in (my niece has a history of horrible tantrums, usually if told no, or when her mother's around). Anyhow she's nervous about the next visit, and about being "reported" what should she do in this situation?

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Asked by LoveBuggsMommie at 11:47 PM on Apr. 3, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 17 (3,581 Credits)
Answers (3)
  • I would enforce the written agreement the way it is said.

    It is sad to know that grandma was willing to try a different night to make your niece more comfortable, and the mother wasn't. If she is that inflexible, even when it benefits her daughter, I would just start sticking to the rules. Chances are that within 5 mins of mom leaving, your niece will be just fine and thrilled to be with grandma again. It is just sad that it has to come to that!

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 11:52 PM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • I should've added she was fine. There is one night a week and my daughter and I are at my mother's as well, the girls are 10months apart and very close. My mom texted the mother after she got home to let her know my niece was playing, and had asked for dinner, and the mother sent a nasty response. It is a sad situation, and as I sad before my niece has been through so much. I just hope some day everyone will be able to be civil for the sake of her best interest which I believe to be knowing her support system and family- both sides.

    Comment by LoveBuggsMommie (original poster) at 11:58 PM on Apr. 3, 2011

  • If it's a Court Order, then your nieces mom HAS to turn her over to your mom--if not, your mom can file for Contempt of Court and can request make up time. However, if it is not a Court Order, and just an agreement, your mom needs to file it through whatever Court has jurisdiction (if there is an Order between your bro and his ex, then that Court, if not, whatever Court serves the county where the child lives).

    Answer by laird6372 at 11:59 PM on Apr. 3, 2011

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