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My daughter hates crowds. Is this normal?

Like I have said before I have a 16 month old daughter, who is the love of my life! I have just recently joined CafeMom hoping I can get some advise and answers where I have questions! I am a first time mom with alot of support from family and friends! Especially from my husband, but he works out of town, which is an adjustment in it self since Bonnie has been in our lives! She is a very independent toddler who wants to do everything by her self. As Bonnie is getting old and growing like a weed I have been noticing she does NOT like crowds, or being in a room with alot of people! She gets very fussy and uncomfortable all most. It is like she gets overwhelmed or over stimulated. She also does not like to be in her stroller, which I understand that just may be due to her age. When we go to mall I can not go into any stores without her throwing and complete fit, or having a huge melt-down. I have just been telling my self oh she is teething or she is not in the mood. But it is starting to dawn on me that maybe she just does not like to be around people? HELP!

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missb111709

Asked by missb111709 at 12:33 AM on Apr. 4, 2011 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 3 (15 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • I have six kids and one of mine was just like that. He's now 7, and okay with people although not particularly sociable. But when he was a baby, taking him shopping was a nightmare. The only way I coped was by going out as little as possible. I couldn't leave him in daycare (he cried the WHOLE TIME I was gone, barely drawing breath), so yeah, we just made sure to make very quick trips to the store and only as often as we absolutely needed to. He's in school now, though, and fine with it. Very smart little cookie, actually, top of the class in reading. :) Good luck!!
    judimary

    Answer by judimary at 12:36 AM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • Oh, and I carried him in a sling not a stroller - he preferred that.
    judimary

    Answer by judimary at 12:36 AM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • It possibly could be a phase. To put your mind at ease take her to a good child psychologist for a screening. They will be best able to tell you if there is anything to be concerned about. If there is anything, early intervention can make an enormous difference. Hopefully it is just a toddler phase!
    spottedpony

    Answer by spottedpony at 12:38 AM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • Some kids are like this. Try going to the stores whey they first open and there are fewer people around. I would also watch her cues and plan on leaving right as she's hitting her limit. Give her time and lots of love and she SHOULD grow out of this. What she needs most is her Momma letting her know that her world is still safe and secure.

    My kids are 7 and 4 and STILL have days where they're "shy" and don't want to talk to anyone. I hug them as they hide behind me and explain to the other adults what's going on. Very rarely have I had a problem.
    Rosehawk

    Answer by Rosehawk at 12:39 AM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • it could be just a phase she is going through my boys cling to me whenever we are in public also they don't like strangers and fuss if anyone comes up and tries to talk to them; so if I'm going to do any shopping I'll go early in the morning when there isn't as many people around and that seems to help
    Christmaslver68

    Answer by Christmaslver68 at 7:54 AM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • My oldest DD is just like that. I am hopeing she will out grow it she is 4 now and has been like that since the age of two. but for now we just make sure that she knows, as long as she stays close to mommy and daddy and/or who ever we are with she will be safe. It's about making them feel comfortable before even getting to the place you are going, or out of the car. Talk to them about where you are going, and what you will be doing. It helps. 16months is old enough to start talking things out. They might not understand EVERYTHING. But just the fact that you are willing to talk to her about it..Might help! Good luck.
    Novmeber2006

    Answer by Novmeber2006 at 9:41 AM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • She may possibly have some sensory issues. You have done very well isolating her behavior and know which times she's over stimulated. Lots of children have sensory problems and they are easily corrected with occupational therapy. If she were my daughter and was doing so wonderfully in other areas, then I would have an occupational therapy evaluation with someone who specializes in sensory integration. That way you can see if that's the cause or rule it out. I work with lots of children that have similar issues and the therapy works! Nothing to get worried about though!
    AlisonAstair

    Answer by AlisonAstair at 12:16 PM on Apr. 4, 2011

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