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Do children who were neglected as babies have to deal with the reprocussions of that their entire lives, or does having a stable home and loving family eventually help them overcome it?

My 5 year old was neglected by his mother (bio) and father (bio), and witnessed domestic violence from both. He has bursts of rage, inability to control emotions, and will bully younger kids. His doctor thinks these are symptoms of being neglected from birth to age 2. If any of you have adopted/step-parented child and they are now in stable homes, do the symptoms get better, or are there things I can be doing to help him work through this? I feel so terrible for him, he is such a sweet, smart boy, but can't control his emotions and his temper is 0 to 60 with one "No." He has time outs, and I have taught him to count to twenty when he is upset, but it seems like it gets to a certain point and he can't calm down and will scream for upwards of 20 minutes. Please, if anyone has gone through a similar thing, any advice would be great. Thank you.

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Caitlin G.

Asked by Caitlin G. at 12:41 AM on Apr. 4, 2011 in Adoption

Level 2 (9 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • Keep up the good work, it will get through to him, eventually. My neighbour has an adopted daughter whose mother didn't want her and who lived in appalling circumstances until she was about 3 or 4. She's had a long road with this girl, but she's improving all the time, and is such a sweet kid. Children are really amazing in their resiliance and can recover from some pretty awful experiences. Just give him lots of love and be patient and kind. *hugs*

    Answer by judimary at 1:00 AM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • i think the symptoms will get better...

    Answer by jenny2150 at 1:25 AM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • I can get better with help. Look up info on Reactive Attachment Disorder and attachment delays.

    Answer by matthewscandi at 7:40 AM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • Exact thing here. 5 1/2 years later he is an adorable child; calm, loving, kind, patient, sensitive - a complete turnaround since he arrived as an angry, violent, mean, raging toddler due to the abuse and neglect he lived with the first 2 years of his life. We just loved him through it all, held him, comforted him, assured and reassured him, patience and absolutely NO physical discipline at all.

    Answer by meooma at 8:27 AM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • it seems like it should get better just keep doing what you are and good luck

    Answer by Christmaslver68 at 5:47 PM on Apr. 23, 2011

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