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Is my sister being a brat or what?

So today me and my SO were discussing how he was going to get back home, if i was picking him up, if he was getting a ride, walking, etc (getting home from work)

My sister interrupts our convo, she is almost 13, and says "will you just be quiet?"
I was very confused
I asked her why she was entering my conversation and told her this had nothing to do with her.
sis-well I don't want to hear you
I told her we had to discuss things and if she doesn't like it, don't listen, the functioning of a whole household doesn't stop because she is over.
sis-well I don't want to hear you bickering about this
I told her to call it what she wants, it's a discussion between me and my SO, she has no business trying to dictate my household because ONE convo didn't include her.


then here's where she flipped the script
last week she called me and my mom crazy, we both are very strong minded people so i guess thats crazy...I said at least i don't cry about everything, rather be crazy than a cry baby...okay okay low blow I guess but she's been pushing it

so she is harping on that.
she told me that I think I am perfect, which I never even suggest, so idk where that came from
so I asked her to tell me how I think that
no answer
I asked her why she would say that because I never said or hinted that I thought about myself so highly.
She called me a bitch in MY HOUSE

I said, sorry sis, I can't relate to an over-priveledged brat, get out of my house, and I made my mom come pick her up.

Also, she is always calling my son names, spoiled, brat, psycho, etc. my son is a year and a half. I always have to remind her to stop. But I am done. She disrespected me, she is constantly being a little bitch to my son, I do not want her around me anymore. I am at the point where this is a relationship I could do with out. And I know thats wrong, but I don't want to be near her anymore.

INPUT PLEASe
if you were our mother how would u handle this?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:08 AM on Apr. 4, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Yes, I agree that your mother should not be laughing at this behavior, and she does need to be more respectful. So try to set the example in a kind way for her, which will be hard but I don't think the path you are on right now is working. What does she like? You might even try setting up a reward system for her.
    spottedpony

    Answer by spottedpony at 2:35 AM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • Hmm, sounds like maybe you both should do some growing up. I would not tolerate ANY disrespect between you two sisters or her and your little boy, or he's going to learn to be disrespectful and then you'll have a real problem on your hands! You both need to "count to 10" when you feel like anger is building, and follow this simple rule : If you'gve got nothing nice to say, SAY NOTHING!!
    judimary

    Answer by judimary at 2:14 AM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • everyone has growing up to do

    IMO i don't see why I should count to 10, she spoke out of line, disrespected me, my SO, and earlier my son, and called me out of my name, best thing I could do was make her leave

    I typically can ignore her, but there are few areas where I will check her.
    1. when she speaks rudely to my child
    2. when she interupts me when I am talking to someone else
    3. when she is being disrespectful in my home
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:21 AM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • I'm almost 20, she'll be 13 this month. She speaks like this to everyone. Me, my mom, my moms boyfriend, now my SO and my son.

    At her age I would have got the shit slapped out of me for speaking to an adult in any way shape or form near to how she speaks. I don't know that it is okay for 12 year olds to be so disrespectful, it's simply not how I was raised.

    How much more slack should she get when she is like this 24/7?
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:27 AM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • which is also why I asked if you were our mother what would you do,
    because my mom just doesn't do anything, or thinks the way she talks is funny. It's not.

    Not funny to call a one year old a spoiled brat, or a psycho, or crazy
    not funny at all, and had she been anyone besides my sister it would have gotten phsyical very quickly for speaking to any toddler in such a way.

    as for going around calling people bitches and getting 100% of everyones attention 24/7, that's just not how the world is going to work so why stop my life to accomodate such fairytales.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:31 AM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • Since you did ask how we would handle the situation-
    First, no more name calling on your part. That has to stop if you expect her to stop.

    Second make her visits positive and don't have her over if you can't spend time and give attention to her. Take her places, paint her nails, do nice things for her. Leave your child out of the equation for now. If she wants to help with him and play with him fine. Just don't expect anything that way...for now.

    If she is rude, quietly remind her that your really enjoy her and she needs to mind her manners. If you can make the visits more positive and show an effort to be overly nice and caring to her, you really might see a change in her. If she is insecure, give her more support and confidence. Be someone she can talk to rather than someone she competes with for attention. That is the way I would handle it. I did not have any sisters, I think you are very fortunate.
    spottedpony

    Answer by spottedpony at 2:32 AM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • Unfortunately I don't have time to just make everything about her. maybe it sucks but we have a 7 yr difference. We are at different stages in life. not only that but we cannot really relate because we had different childhoods all together.
    just som intel,my mom had me at 15 had her at 21...so there is a vast difference in the childhoods.

    I have argued with my mom so much about this. I mean sooo much. I cant let her continuously get away with being disrespectful, then I am teaching her that acting like that is okay. As of now she is no longer allowed at my home, she used to like to help my mom watch my child, but I told my mom I would get another sitter until she can speak correctly to my baby, and she needs to apologize.

    I hope thats not too much to ask. (My mom thinks everything is freaking funny, NO, there is nothing funny about this)
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:42 AM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • She is almost 13...are you serious? How old are you? This is terrible. It sounds like sibling rivalry and bickering to me. Age 12 going on 13 is a very difficult stage for any girl, so I would give her a little slack. Is it possible that she is feeling left out or perhaps she is jealous of the baby. These are somewhat normal responses for her age group, but what about your age group? You need to put some thought into that.

    You have your own child now, how are you going to talk to him and handle him when he starts to push the envelope with you? Hopefully not like this. I think you need to find a way to handle this little sister of yours in a more responsible, mature, adult, parental sort of way.
    spottedpony

    Answer by spottedpony at 2:22 AM on Apr. 4, 2011

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