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My boyfriend wants kids

i have two kids with another guy... my boyfriend wants children but im "fixed" he says its no big deal, but i can see how it bothers him, as long as we are together he will never have kids of his own. i have told him that i will understand if we dont work out because i cant have anymore children. he says thats never going to happen. he will never break up with me because i cant give him children. how can i make him feel better about this?

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dfwhite

Asked by dfwhite at 3:46 AM on Apr. 4, 2011 in Relationships

Level 14 (1,702 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • I don't think it's him you want to make feel better, I think it's you. So I say, just accept that he's okay with it. Perhaps down the line you can adopt.
    Imogine

    Answer by Imogine at 4:04 AM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • Yeah, there's always adoption! There's plenty of kids that need parents to love them :) As for making him feel better, he is in charge of how he feels, not you. Good luck!
    lovingmy4babies

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 7:20 AM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • If it's REALLY bothering you, you would look into getting your tubal reversed.....but it sounds to me like you don't want anymore children.
    cfh72

    Answer by cfh72 at 7:54 AM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • You need to take him at his word. I have 2 kids with my ex, got my tubes tied. My SO doesn't have any kids, and he's perfectly fine with my 2 being the only kids he ever has. All he ever cared about was being a father, whether that was to stepkids, adopted kids, or biological kids didn't matter to him.

    I will admit to wondering in the beginning if he was being honest, but unless he tells you otherwise, you have no way to prove that he doesn't feel as he told you. And if you make it too big a deal, you'll ruin the relationship over something that he really might very well have been perfectly okay with.

    If, down the road, he tells you he wants kids and the relationship ends, that'll suck, but enjoy what you have right now. It could be the one that lasts.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 8:03 AM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • Tell him he can be apart of childrens life or there are other opitions if you would be willing.
    shelle21

    Answer by shelle21 at 9:12 AM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • I would do as many family things as possible to help him develop a stronger bond with your children so that he will eventually feel that they are his. I understand how you feel because you know he wants kids of his own but it's pretty clear that he loves you more! The more "family" things, the stronger the bond will build. Adoption is an option!
    AlisonAstair

    Answer by AlisonAstair at 10:58 AM on Apr. 4, 2011

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