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How to help mom with her possible divorce?

My mom called today to tell me that she is 85% sure she and my dad are going to get divorced. She will be going to talk to a lawyer either today or tomorrow. They have been married for 29 years (would be 30 this fall). She wouldn't tell me why, just said she didn't want me mad at my dad. I don't know how to help her. They've been fighting a lot the last few months, but that's all I know. She doesn't want to talk to me about it because she doesn't want me in the middle.

Anyway, how can I help her get through this?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:41 AM on Apr. 4, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • You can be supportive of her. Someday she will probably tell you more of what was going on. It's important that she takes care of herself. There is a good site out there that gives lots of step by step things to do, what you should make copies of, etc. Have her look at it and at least she'll be on the right track. Otherwise, be there for her if she needs to talk. I wish you and your family the best!

    http://www.theorganizeddivorce.com
    AlisonAstair

    Answer by AlisonAstair at 10:44 AM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • I would let her come to you about it instead of pushing her to tell why. I would let her talk about whenever she is ready because we had to be that way with my sister after her divorce. She may be embrassed because she wasnt expecting to get a divorce and she wants you to keep your relationship with your father because she doesnt want you to resent him for their divorce. I hope your mom gets through this and you to.
    shelle21

    Answer by shelle21 at 8:53 AM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • At this point all you can do is just be there for her, a divorce is like a death, you want to do something to make it better but there isn't anything that you can really do except be supportive, and let her come to you to talk.:)
    stitchintime

    Answer by stitchintime at 8:59 AM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • Honestly, I think your mom is doing the right thing by you. I would just try to stay out of the reasons. Sometimes people can be better fathers/aunts/uncles/brothers/sisters/cousins than they can be spouses.

    I know that this isn't the same, but when my aunt and uncle got divorced, I only knew that there was cheating, and the rest of the family ostracized my aunt, so I am assuming it was on her end...all I told her was that whatever happened in her marriage had little bearing on what type of aunt she was to me.

    I would offer her any help moving or staying somewhere that she needs, talk to her, help her with practical things, etc. But I wouldn't ask for reasons or information.
    Mom-2-3-Girlz

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 9:01 AM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • Oh, I don't want reasons... I just mean she won't tell me anything about the possible divorce, meaning she won't talk about her feelings, etc... I don't know how to help her if she doesn't want to talk...I've never been through a divorce, so I don't know what's going through her mind, so I don't know what to say.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:30 AM on Apr. 4, 2011

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