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How can i get my 14 yr old son to open up?

seems depressed poor grades

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:54 AM on Apr. 4, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (15)
  • Bullying could be the cause of it. Try to talk to his teachers.
    dancer

    Answer by dancer at 8:56 AM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • You probably can't. He's a 14 yr old male. If there is a man in his life (father, step father, friend, minister, etc.); he might be able to get him to open up. A therapist would be good too.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 8:59 AM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • yes that did seem to be part of it at the beginning of the school year i check his phone all the time but he seems to not want to talk to me or his dad at all
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:01 AM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • dont focus on the problem that often makes thing worse, let him tell you whats wrong.But do so by coming down to his world... Play video games or something thats on his level of entertainment, dont rush the issue.If he doesnt bring it up right away then let it ride until he is comfortable with you. He may also be afraid of your judgment of him. Kids always want their parents approval.Because if they feel like they have let you down in some way, they dont open up. Take the judgment away and replace it with understanding. Concern is a judgment word. Pick your words carefully. Bad grades arent always the problem but a indicator of a problem. It could be something as simple as hes bored in class, he doesnt like his teacher... to something horrific as being bullied. Keep in mind bad grades arent the worst thing out there...it could be worse. Pick you battles sparingly....Good Luck sweetie. I hope this helped
    lacyjones

    Answer by lacyjones at 9:11 AM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • Just be there for her in a way you talk to her tell her your here for her if anything that she needs n talk about or needs helps to get up with her grade sometimes kids that age needs help you have to offer like saying do you think you need help improving your grade maybe a tutor I did that with my daughter I always offer and would suggest and then she would say yes and she feel better
    Donnabell_nyc

    Answer by Donnabell_nyc at 9:18 AM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • thank u for ur input i a sooo worried about him hes normally so quiet and now just so angry at the world thanks again
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:19 AM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • we did find out that his dad has bladder cancer and quite possibly lymes disease on top of that perhaps hes worried his dad is going to die but if thats the case youd think hed be nice to him not mean
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:23 AM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • Sounds like he is dealing with a lot-with jsut his dad...maybe therapy so he has someone to talk to and learn how to cope from

    good luck
    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 9:32 AM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • No not always...he thinks his dad is leaving. Hes afraid the the lack of control he doesnt have regarding the fact that his dad is leaving so to help with the control hes angry because if its his idea then it doesnt hurt so much. Hes also angry with the world for having his dad sick. Anger is a very normal reaction. You might want to look into this so you as his parent and the person who he needs to turn to in a case like this..so that you know what to say and do. Its the understanding thing again. You cant help him if you dont first understand what you can do the make things better. I think hes afraid of losing his dad and his depression, bad grades and anger are normal reactions to this. Good luck sweetie
    lacyjones

    Answer by lacyjones at 9:37 AM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • Ohh and God Bless your husband and you family. I hope all goes well.
    Hugs!
    lacyjones

    Answer by lacyjones at 9:38 AM on Apr. 4, 2011

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